10 Signs That True Love Still ExistsFebruary 14th, 2012 by Olivier
It’s been said that chivalry is dead and that the sands of time have corroded true love into a thing of the past. Though chivalry and true love are rare, they are still very much a reality. Here are 10 signs that true love still exists.
1. Successful Marriages
The only thing more precious than a public promise of lifelong commitment, between a husband and wife, is the actual fulfillment of those vows. The members of successful unions share a time-tested bond, a bond so genuine that perhaps it ignites sparks of jealousy within your own heart. This is not a bond of perfection, but a bond that represents what true love encapsulates: hard work, growth, honor, and fidelity.
Occasionally, this bond is immediately noticeable. Perhaps it’s the contentment that they have with each other’s presence, where words are unnecessary. Or, it could be that energy that seemingly radiates when they’re together.
If one searches thoroughly enough, successful marriages can be found everywhere. There are marriages which have lasted 30 years, 40 years, and there are magical stories of people who have true love not because they found it, but because true love found them.
Successful marriages are those which not only pass the test of time, they are unions that enrich and inspire, providing evidence that true love exists and giving you hope that you may someday taste it.
Whether or not you like children, you can probably admit that there’s a magical nature surrounding newborns. There are few things which bring a smile to people’s faces as often as seeing a completely dependent, utterly vulnerable infant.
Infants are signs of true love for 2 reasons:
There’s an innocence that comes with true love. A fun, playful nature towards that special someone. It’s what makes a spouse tease the other, surprise the other, show extra affection towards the other when he/she thinks that nobody is watching. Infants are a manifestation of this innocence.
2.) They are products of love
These young ones are the product of the physical, emotional, and spiritual oneness that results from sexual intimacy. The physical expression of true love is so powerful that it produces a miracle by creating life.
Any substantive relationship – whether friendship, family, or romance – will have its fair share of battles in the forms of arguments, disagreements, or conflicts. This is not to be confused with relentless, unproductive arguing. Nor does this include physical or emotional abuse. Instead, this refers to healthy disagreements which lead to productive resolutions and maybe even personal growth.
It’s much easier to avoid conflict than to address it, and healthy arguing shows that those who have found true love care enough, about each other and the relationship, to address the difficult issues.
Forgiveness. How can a word that rolls so easily off the tongue be so difficult to practice? C.S. Lewis described forgiveness as the most difficult of Christian virtues, more difficult than abstinence itself.
Forgiveness is that healing gel which enables couples to survive their battles. Forgiveness doesn’t denote weakness. Rather, it represents strength. Forgiveness is the fortitude to not necessarily forget, but to overlook trespasses and act in an unvindictive manner. The virtue that is forgiveness embodies selflessness, humility, and love, all harmoniously packaged together.
Literature provides a quick way into the mind of a person whom you don’t know. Literature can also be an educational tool where you learn not only about true love’s reality but also about the depth of it.
A Grief Observed is a series of reflections portraying C.S. Lewis’s grief following the death of his wife. Whether or not you believe in God, you will see that true love is so real, so heartfelt, that it can cause a world renown Christian apologist to question the existence of God.
Gary Chapman is an author and international speaker on marriage and relationships. He’s respected by many as the unofficial expert on love and is best known for his Love Language series. Gary Chapman has If you want to know whether true love is real, simply read Chapman’s works, the literature of an expert who experiences true love, helps restore marriages, and share his wisdom worldwide.
These are just a couple of examples. There is a breadth of available literature that you can read to familiarize yourself with the nature of true love, infusing you with the education and motivation you want and deserve.
The stereotypical tales of celebrities’ downward spirals are far too commonplace. However, if one digs deeply enough, the celebrities who aren’t endlessly splattered over the latest tabloids may have something to contribute in the “True Love Arena”.
You may not hear too much about Danny Devito’s marriage which has lasted since 1982, or Michael J. Fox’s marriage which has remained in tact since 1988. And then there are legends such as Iron Man A.C. Green who waited until age 38 to marry and find true love.
Denzel Washington, a household name, a man whose been voted one of the most beautiful by People Magazine, a man voted America’s second favorite actor for 2012, has been married for 29 years. After minimal investigation, the reasons for his stellar reputation are obvious. As a man of integrity, he’s donated time and money to various institutions and continues to be a role model on and off the screen, all while maintaining a healthy relationship with his wife and children.
Regarding Hollywood, the media chooses to impress certain stories and images on society. Only when one dusts off the tarnished surfaces does the sparkle, that some celebrities have to offer, shine.
7. The Brain
Perhaps the most tangible evidence of love is that it can be “seen”. It may surprise many that advances in neuroscience make this possible. According to the Times Online, scientists studied the brain scans of couples who were in love, after showing those individuals pictures of their loved ones.
The brain scans showed that viewing the pictures of their loved ones produced chemical reactions in the brain. Even more fascinating is that the brain scans of some individuals who were together for 20 years or more showed similar chemical reactions to individuals that had recently fallen in love! This signals that love can very well be maintained over extended periods of time.
The authors of the book Hooked provide warning when they detail that brain centers which signal “passionate new love” are the same parts of the brain which detail infatuation. In other words, brain studies cannot differentiate between infatuation and new love. This should be of special concern to teens whose brains are still molding and impressionable. Above all else, this is evidence that relationships and love should be approached cautiously.
Love exists, it can be “seen”, and it can be maintained through the years. However, it is not to be confused with infatuation or lust. Love is not to be taken lightly.
Google “friends let you down” and you’re greeted with a staggering 680 million+ results in .22 seconds. The internet is saturated with quotes and poems about true friendship as well as personal accounts of friendships dissolving due to betrayal. In a society which tends to trivialize friendship along with romantic relationships, “friendships” are often recycled far too quickly.
Genuine friendship is rare. A genuine friend will accompany you through your greatest achievements and harshest shortcomings. True friendship takes time to develop and mature.The best of friendships can sometimes lead to the best of relationships and friendship will be at the core of any substantive romance.
Friendship is what enables a couple to stay together following horrific tragedies that impair a spouse’s physical abilities or health. This is because true love is more than sex or self fulfillment. True love embodies that fun and emotional intimacy that couples experience as a result of their friendship.
If you have a genuine friend, you should thank him/her. Not only because of the fact that true friendship is rare, but also because your friend is a sign that true love exists: that friend of your’s will, or already does, bring that friendship quality to a romance or marriage.
Chivalry, although rare, is certainly not dead. While friendship serves as the foundation of a romantic relationship, chivalry stems from the dimensions which allow a relationship to transcend friendship: attraction and sexual desire. Chivalrous men and women are evidence that true love exists because often times these are the people who find, respect, and understand true love.
Chivalry is more than being “nice” or holding open doors. Several people are skilled in the art of charming others, and many will perform acts of kindness providing that they have an attentive audience. Chivalry comes from the heart and is a way of life. Determining a person’s way of life and heart takes time. This is why chivalrous individuals are best discovered through careful scrutiny and word of mouth from trusted sources.
The chivalrous woman respects herself, knowing that there’s a sexiness in dressing in a way that leaves something to the imagination. She understands that she has more to offer than her body, nor does she give herself to undeserving men.
It’s the chivalrous wife who encourages her husband, building him up in a world that would rather break him down.
The chivalrous man would never pressure or manipulate a woman into sex. He knows that a woman is his equal and that being an authentic man means respecting women, not taking advantage of them. He excuses himself from conversations which include crass remarks about women.
It’s the chivalrous husband who buys flowers for the house because he knows his wife appreciates it. It’s the chivalrous husband who prepares a bubble bath for his wife when she’s had a day she would prefer to forget.
You yourself are a sign that true love exists. More specifically, it’s your desire that serves as the sign. Would you define yourself as a hopeless romantic? Do Jane Austen’s novels and adaptations unlock the chambers of your heart? Once you discover what desire is capable of, you may start viewing yourself as hopeful rather than hopeless.
Best-selling author and psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud details the principles of personal and professional success in 9 Things You Simply Must Do to succeed in Love and Life. The first principle he discusses is desire, which he describes as one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Dr. Cloud explains that the invisible world is where the visible world originates and that our physical surroundings and environments originate from within the souls of human beings.
He couldn’t be more right.
The school which you attend exists because of the desire of people to learn, the desire of others to teach, and the desire of an architect to imagine and fashion that building into existence. Your favorite TV shows/movies exist because of an audience’s desire for that movie and the desire of screenwriters, actors, directors, and producers to make it a reality.
The desire for innovative communication fuels today’s continually evolving social media phenomenon.
Desire is a powerful tool. The next time you face a mirror, congratulate yourself, knowing that you – your desire – is evidence of true love. If it hasn’t already, that inner passion may yield visible results.
Jane Austen Adaptation, “Emma”. Mr. Knightly Falls For Emma:
Links & Sources
- Regarding Times Online Brain Scans article:
True Love and Brain Scans
- Frank and Anita Milford full bio with pictures