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4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA

November 30th, 2012 by

Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex are a pretty under-discussed minority in the United States. There is much discussion about whether it’s “right” to wait, whether to educate people on waiting, etc., but not much is said (or studied) about the millions of people in the US who actually wait. That’s something we here at hope to change!

1. About 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex (successfully)

Three percent of the US population may seem like a small number, but that represents nearly 10,000,000 successful waiters-till-marriage.  That’s ten million people (alive right now in the US alone) who waited, found love, got married, then had sex for the first time after they were married.

If you also include people who wait for a while but don’t wait all the way until marriage, then the percentage goes up even higher. For example, 11% of modern 25-year-olds have not had premarital sex. If you include higher ages, then the percentage goes down to the 3% number.

To give you some perspective: About 4% of the US population is gay. Think about how many gay people you’ve seen in your life. That’s about how many waiters-till-marriage there are. Regrettably, we’re not as easy to identify as gay people are (studies have shown that people can determine sexual orientation just by looking at faces), which leaves many waiters feeling much more alone than they deserve to.

2. In highly religious groups, up to 20% wait until marriage successfully

Naturally, religious people seem more likely to wait until marriage to have sex. In a study of 9 Southern Babtist churches in Texas (it doesn’t get much more conservative than that), 20% of the church members aged 25 or younger were married without ever having premarital sex.

Side note: There is a lot of research showing that religion is good at helping people commit more strongly to things than they would otherwise. For example, religious married couples have a slightly lower chance of divorce than nonreligious/nonpracticing married couples because they have a stronger sense of moral commitment. That is, they’re more likely to stick to a particular course of action simply because they feel that it’s right.

3. Women wait more than men, but lots of guys wait too

In the general population, the ratio of women-to-men who wait until marriage to have sex seems to be about 60/40 girls-to-guys. This statistic disproves the common misconception that only women wait until marriage to have sex. Statistically-speaking, plenty of guys wait too!

Side note: People who argue that waiting till marriage is anti-feminist often base their argument on the assumption that only women wait. That argument kind of falls apart if almost the same amount of guys wait too, because then it’s equal (and equal is pro-feminist). Granted, waiter women still outnumber waiter men by 20%, so there is still some inequality between the genders, but not nearly as much as you’d expect.

Fun fact: Our guy/girl ratio here at is about 65/35 girls-to-guys, so we’re pretty close to being representative of the general population’s 60/40 ratio (which is pretty freakin’ cool, if you ask me).

4. More people waited in the 1950s, but not as much as you’d think

Popular belief holds that everybody waited until marriage in the past, then the 1960s came along and dethroned us waiters-till-marriage from the mainstream, relegating us to a fringe minority. I think you could make the case that cultural attitudes towards premarital sex have changed dramatically since the 1950s, but people’s behaviors have changed less than you think.

Even though waiting until marriage for sex was much more expected in the 1950s, those who actually waited were still in the minority.

If you’re curious: After an initial drop in waiting till marriage during the 60s, our share of the population has held pretty stable for the last 40 years.

I hope you liked this; more stats to come!


Author: Mike

Mike handles all of the programming and design work for Although he still writes the occasional article, he spends most of his time these days creating new site features and keeping everything organized. Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist. In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.

183 Responses to “4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA”

  1. AlexeiZ says:

    Hey Mike! Thanks for sharing these stats. Very informative and reassuring 🙂

  2. Kailey says:

    Yes, great to know-thanks:).

  3. Sally says:

    That’s really interesting!! I was surprised to see that only 11% waited in the 1950s…mainly because there wasnt much birth control out then. (Those that were out were hard to access…see Mona Lisa Smile for a movie example)

  4. Mike says:

    @Sally – Funny you should mention it! Access to birth control was one of the main explanations cited for the sharp decline in WTM in the 1960s (in addition to the cultural factors), so you’re right on the money with that assumption.

    @Alexi & Kailey – No problem! Glad you liked it. More stats to come!

  5. me says:

    thank you!

  6. crystal says:

    very cool and neat graphics too

  7. discouraged says:

    Interesting stats…sadly it sounds really depressing

  8. jay says:

    very supportive and reinsuring, thank you

  9. Anna says:

    It would be a mistake to assume everyone who remains a virgin does so voluntarily. If you are choosing celibacy for yourself, that is within your right. However…implying that your choice is the right one for everyone, as this website does, is asinine.

  10. Mike says:

    @Anna – The study I pulled these stats from did control for the “voluntary” aspect…sort of. Those stats exclude people who’ve simply never had sex. That 3% represents people who dated, got married, and had sex for the first time in marriage. I guess you could argue that medical conditions like vaginisums and stuff could have accounted for a few of those, but I can’t imagine that the number would be very signficant.

    Also, please read before you flame. Can you point me to a place on this website where an article — not a comment — implies that waiting is right for everyone?

  11. johnstme says:

    WRONG! Those numbers are from tables that show the cumulative percent who have had ANY intercourse — pre-marital OR marital. The correct data on the percent who were virgins at marriage have been published in reports from the National Center for Health Statistics. Those reports are available online at “”

    The earliest data available are for people first married beween 1960 and 1964, when 48.3% of all women(and 52.6% of white women)were virgins at first marriage (no data were available for males until later). There was a steady decline in each successive marriage cohort to those first married in 1990-94, when 5.8% of the males and 12.2% of the females were virgins. After that there was a sharp increase and in the cohort first married in 1995-2002, 10.3% of the males and 13.5% of the females were virgins.

    That increase is a reflection of the dramatic decline in teenage sexual activity, especially among male teens, since 1988, which means that there will probably be a continued increase in virginity at first marriage in the next few marriage cohorts.

  12. Mike says:

    @johnstme – Thanks for the tip and link. I like your stats better, so I’m either going to update this article to use them instead, or add the stats from your CDC report.

    But for the record: The paper I pulled these first stats from is titled “Trends in premarital sex in the United States.” I’m pretty sure that it does separate marital intercourse from premarital intercourse, and also separates out people who have never had sex (by the point polled anyway). I remember there was one table that just showed sex “at all” without separating out marital sex, which is what I think you were referring to, but there were lots of other tables as well, plus summary data.

  13. Denni says:

    I loved it I was really surprised!! But it all made a lot of sense I was very interesting!! Great research very helpful!!

  14. angel says:

    thank you soooooo much for this. it helped me a lot with a school assignment i have to complete and also improving my general knowledge. keep up the good work in what you do 😉

  15. Anonymous says:

    Yeah since when is 3% not minute and 20% not significant thats overall virginity and the
    difference between male and female… i would love toknow what the percentage of virgin
    unions that end in divorce is out of curiosity.

  16. […] is, but if you look at the numbers, 1950-1963 only 11% of people were waiting until marriage. 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA | I think sex before marriage used to be considered very bad, so maybe it felt like people were […]

  17. Brandi says:

    Love this article, very nice to see it laid out in a simple graph. Wish it could show a geographical map of where those 40% of men are hiding though because I have only meet 5 men in my entire life who have waited until marriage. (Sigh)

  18. Mike says:

    @Brandi – Six. 😉

  19. Someone says:

    Thanks this is really helpful information

  20. Well says:

    I don’t care to know the full and total number, I just need ONE Lord Jesus Help Me! Lol

  21. Berea says:

    All I know is the numbers are depressingly low from both men and women. @ Brandi yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve only met a few guys who’ve waited. So now I’m curious, I’m planning on waiting, does that mean that it’s ok for me to be picky and only marry someone who’se waited as well? Is that being stuck up?

  22. […] The fact is that 3 percent of folks DO wait; up to 20 percent in certain religious denominations. 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA | My boys will have a shot at getting there. My eldest is 15, and a little while ago he gave me a […]

  23. zain arain says:


  24. Stephen Nielson says:


    I would say no. Marrying someone who waits is a sign of commitment, integrity, loyalty, and trust — not to mention the great degree of self-control. I waited until marriage and my wife did as well — I’ve met a lot of people who have waited until marriage as well. It is true we tend to congregate in highly religious areas (think the south, or Utah).

    As to @anonymous on February 13th. The divorce rates are much higher for those who have had sex before marriage — this is a common myth that you need to find out if your sexually compatible before you think about committing to marriage. The rates are lower for those who have sex after getting engaged, but still higher than those who wait until marriage. If you think about it makes sense as divorce (often arising from commitment and trust issues), will be lower for those people who have greater self-control, higher commitment to their spouse, and higher commitment to a satisfying relationship. I know for myself it was gratifying to marry someone who shared the same beliefs and values as I did and that they saved themselves for me, just like I did for her.

    For the record I got my degree in marriage family and human development.

  25. Peter says:

    I just have to admit that Mike is so much cooler than I am. A software programmer majoring in psychology, wise and rational enough to take what most would consider insults as constructive criticism, and noble enough to devote valuable time and energy to a support group of the noble abstinent, by the noble abstinent, and for the noble abstinent… man, Mike is the kind of guy I’ve always wanted to be and hope to one day become. Thank you for all that you do, Mike!

  26. […] Only 3% of Americans “successfully” save sex for marriage (meaning 97% of them don’t). […]

  27. Frank says:

    This is seriously the gayest website I’ve ever seen.

  28. […] is ready for marriage sets you up for sexual sin.  Only about 3% wait to have sex until marriage. (1)  Many think it is impossible to wait until marriage to have sex.  But let’s be very clear: […]

  29. Shirley says:

    I chuckled reading Frank’s comment, and I wonder what he thought “gayest” means.

  30. jerrin says:

    kudos to those 4 million american men, god bless u all

  31. […] hold out until their wedding night (although about 20% in highly religious groups wait) (see 4 Cool Statistics about Abstinence in the USA).  You are among the few, the proud, the STD-free.  Hey, the reason these are called sexually […]

  32. jane says:

    what a joke! how do you know you’re sexually compatible with someone unless you sleep with them. seriously, what a joke

  33. Jegsy Scarr says:

    @Jane: Well, Jane, a lot of people believe that sexual compatibility isn’t determined just by how “good” you are at sleeping with someone. A lot of -if not the majority of – your sexual compatibility with someone is based on your emotional relationship with them. Physical attraction is also important, of course, and you’ll know if you’re attracted to someone without having sex with them. And you can always talk about sex together if you really want to be sure you’re “on the same page” as it were.

    If by “sexual compatibility”, you mean, how “good” you are at sex, then that’s not something you’ll have straight away. You’ll have to work at it, and that’s okay. You’re going to be married for the rest of your lives, so you’ll have plenty of time to practice. So you’ll get “good” at having sex with time.


  34. Tim says:

    Thank you for the website. I find comfort in it.
    I’m 23, virgin, male, and waiting.

    My only fear is never finding a love/ wife.

    I’m happy there are people out there who care to support our minority.

  35. Stephen says:

    People have the right to think and do for themselves but please know you’re wrong. A healthy marriage cannot survive without sex, therefore a relationship leading up to marriage cannot survive without sex even more. I’d also like to point out how marriage and sex have absolutely nothing to do with each other, sex is emotion, love, pleasure. Marriage is the ultimate expression of trust. PS: If you get married a virgin you’re going to be completely inexperienced and therefore disappointed when the thing you’ve been waiting so long to do is a completely embarrassing and again disappointing experience.

  36. Sarah Burnett says:

    Sex.. connects people together, correct? – Yes, because it is a way of expression- physical, to connect with a person, spend time with that person on a physical, deep (hence the action!) level, whether you do it because you care about them or not. And marriage, is about choosing someone you have gotten to know and realize that you two do care about each other. You two decide that you want to take the step of spending the rest of your lives together. Once married, knowing that you care about someone, and that you both have decided that you want to connect in a relationship that bonds you two together for life, being that sex is the deepest most intimate way to connect with someone physically, it easily rest as a necessity and qualified action for marriage. And being that it is the most intimate way to connect with someone, unless if you want to be a marry-go-round, or practice polygamy, why would you want to connect with someone on the deepest physical level possible if they aren’t worth you have saying and making the decision to spend the rest of your life together with him or her and only them- marriage? And being that you can have sex with anyone, deciding to connect with them, again, whether you care about them or not, shows that until you have married someone, and before you marry the person, your making the decision to connect with someone on the deepest intimate level physically without being committed to them – marriage. And mind you, them you. We’re adults here, marriage is the highest commitment any man and woman can make. – Which means really, you’ll have sex with anyone and connect with anyone because until you’ve married someone, it is not truly set a part from any other time you have sex nor person you have sex with. And using the best way possible that you can complete giving your ALL to someone whom you truly love and loves you (actions speak louder than words, so marrying)by sharing your physical abilities with them, sex ONLY makes sense with the person you have married. And as a Christian, God gives us these principles (in the Bible), I as a Christian recognize these principles have coming from God. So even if we don’t fully understand the advantages of waiting and disadvantages of not waiting, He knows, and makes it plain to us. Sex is for MARRIAGE. And Marriage includes Sex.

  37. Chris says:

    Virginity as defined by penetrative intercourse. Lots of women especially religious go nearly ” all the way” but not quite. They may be technically virgins but they’ve experienced a lot sexually. I know this from experience. Lastly the virgin thing is just a male hang up. Christian girls enjoy yourselves.

  38. just my opinion says:

    Love the article!! Like all the other articles Mike have written.
    It is sad to know our small numbers but cool to know that there are more than expected. 🙂

    I am a christian and believe that GOD is everything good and GOD is love.The bible teach us how to be the best and good hearted person we can be and how GOD want us to be. The bible tells us that we must love our ENEMIES, so if sex was not a “big deal” why does the bible say it is wrong?

    Other than the bible that warns us that sex outside of marriage is wrong there are other reason to wait for your spouse. I believe everyone(except for other reasons there may be) marry someone because they love them and want to be loved by them. Sex is important but the love is more important. The people that worry about sexual compatibility can ask themselves:

    1) Will you rather know that the person you marry love you so much to wait for you because of the person you are and will work thru all the problems and challenges you might face in marriage.You know that after you marriage(if your not”sexual compatible”)you can compromise and lurn what your partner like and dislike (he/she yours) and do what the one likes then what the other likes(selfless deed) and know your spouse is dependable,faithful and will love you for you and not just the sex you give them.When they have a problem they will tell you and a solution can be found.

    2) Find out your “sexual compatible” get married. Your unsure if he/she married you for the sex or because he/she love you for who you are.worry if you are better that his/her ex-girfriends/boyfriends or later if they have a problem with something in your sex life worry about if they will talk about it and you can make a plan or will they go find it somewhere else.

    Sex is important IN a marriage(not outside of it) but do you marry for sex or for love? For me it is love!

    I do not want to be compared to anyone by my husband because I am different from other people.

    I’m not criticising anyone that had sex before marriage nor am I saying your marriage is doomed. My point is I am certain if the marriage is about love and not sex it will be successful.

    I believe that sex is a way to show someone that you love him/her with everything and who will you love more than the person you marry?

    Mistakes can be forgiven and you can be cleanse of sin if you truly regret it and not make the same mistakes.

  39. Matthew says:


    I can assure you that nothing you said is a new-or good-argument to any user of this site. A healthy marriage can’t survive without sex? I would say “thrive”, and then I would agree, except in special cases, such as where sex is impossible or with asexual couples.

    “…therefore a relationship leading up to marriage cannot survive without sex even more.” Nope. Those relationships exist; therefore you are wrong. Did you even read the article?

    Marriage and sex have nothing to do with each other? You reduced marriage to one word and sex to three words. I believe sex strengthens a marriage and marriage enhances sex. This is my opinion, however, and one of the reasons I’m waiting.

    Of course we will be inexperienced. The reason that argument has no merit is that inexperience does not have to lead directly to disappointment. I would imagine disappointment or satisfaction from the first time would have more to do with expectation and preparation. A bit of disappointment the first time would hardly be harmful to the marriage, anyway.

  40. Amanda says:

    This really helped me tonight realizing that I’m not alone and hopefully will find that special someone one day. I am 23 years old and I have never met another male that was a virgin by choice. I may need to explore the world (:

  41. just my opinion says:

    – Matthew I like the way you think about”sex strengthen a marriage” and I think about the disappointment and expectations situation like this:
    Have expectations that is realistic.
    Think about what you can give or do for your spouse and not just what you can get from them.
    Focus on satisfying each other and I am sure both will be satisfied.

  42. Robert says:

    I’m not really sure what the word sexually compatible means? I am a 15 year old male, christian and I plan on waiting until I am married probably cause my mother always telling me to and buying me a ring. Though I have a lot of friends who always use this statement ” how do you know you will find a partner who you are sexually compatible with”. Honestly I don’t know one thing about sex, well I know what you do but I don’t know how to do it… So I don’t really know what I’m into, therefore I will probably like what I get since I don’t know the difference. So what I’m tryng to prove here is that how do you know what you want in sex and what you don’t if you have never experienced it in your life. And I read a comment above saying that there is no right and wrong but I’m sure you are saying that because you have already had sex and had a bad first experience therefore saying there is no right or wrong, but there is and the best thing to do is just to wait until you find your husband/wife

  43. zach says:

    Im with Robert on this one I’m also a 15 year old male and i plan on waiting until marriage to have sex. one reason my mom is pushing me to do so and also my older brother has so far successfully waited until marriage. He 19 and found the girl of his dreams he loves her and trust her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and yet he hasn’t even had sex nor has she had sex. but they are happier then any other couple that i no so if he can do it then i can do it . and with people saying what if your not sexually compatible. how are you going to no what sex is like if you’ve never had sex before so theres no way to be disappointed there. as other people have said sex is a way of showing your compassion for each other. but as the bible says only when married. also i no that some people say that sex is a bad thing but as the bible says and probably my favorite verse in it is the first thing he said to Adam and eve is “be fruitful and multiple” god tells us to have sex when were married awesome. but that’s my view/opinion on Abstinence.

  44. Sex is great says:


  45. Jeb says:

    Before publishing something like this, make sure you have done your homework correctly and read the fine print:

    johnstme says:
    January 14, 2013 at 2:28 pm
    WRONG! Those numbers are from tables that show the cumulative percent who have had ANY intercourse — pre-marital OR marital. The correct data on the percent who were virgins at marriage have been published in reports from the National Center for Health Statistics. Those reports are available online at “”

    The earliest data available are for people first married beween 1960 and 1964, when 48.3% of all women(and 52.6% of white women)were virgins at first marriage (no data were available for males until later). There was a steady decline in each successive marriage cohort to those first married in 1990-94, when 5.8% of the males and 12.2% of the females were virgins. After that there was a sharp increase and in the cohort first married in 1995-2002, 10.3% of the males and 13.5% of the females were virgins.

    That increase is a reflection of the dramatic decline in teenage sexual activity, especially among male teens, since 1988, which means that there will probably be a continued increase in virginity at first marriage in the next few marriage cohorts.

  46. […] 1. “Christians believe that pre-marital sex is a sin.” In America 78.4% of people are “Christian.” At the same time 97% of Americans have pre-marital sex. […]

  47. Alexander says:

    “Side note: There is a lot of research showing that religion is good at helping people commit more strongly to things than they would otherwise. For example, religious married couples have a slightly lower chance of divorce than nonreligious/nonpracticing married couples because they have a stronger sense of moral commitment. That is, they’re more likely to stick to a particular course of action simply because they feel that it’s right.”

    I want to talk about this because as an atheist this is downright offensive because:
    A.) This is assuming that atheists have less moral commitment then religious people just because we don’t believe in a God.
    B.) You show no evidence, thus I hypothesize you are just making a jab at non-religious people.

    If you actually go look at statistics, divorce rates tend to be the same no matter what ethnicity you are, what religion you are, what political group you support, or anything else. Divorce is widespread and it doesn’t matter what group you are put in. Here’s the proof:

  48. dominic says:

    I am a Nigerian who is experiencing @ the moment the Western world trend of premarital sex.a lot of ppl in America n Europe as some have said here is that u need experience sex partner. What is wrong with you waiting and then exploring and teaching each other good sex out of love?aside that a lot of people say premarital sex is good bcoz of the Pleasure n modern time. I tell you all I did a personal research which I see so clearly in Europe and America is that premarital sex gave humans the greatest disease which is sex addiction and no sense of shame… Is not enough to be scared of disease or pregnancy but sex addiction… A lot of youth are sexually addicted this affect marriage has caused a lot of people heart break that some are now forced to only have hookup or casual sex and seek not to be committed… Let me state my case… Premarital sex owe its genesis to pornography… Any society open to pornography soft or hardcore destroys the common sense of selfcontrol in every young person… This sex addictive world is ruining societies because nowadays marriage is like a game. No trust… Why is it that there is no trust? The answer is, If I know that I am already doing sex b4 marriage n girls also do the same and I know at anytime my girl might fall in love with any guy I become suspicious and she hrself become suspicious of me… Another problem is d attitude of irresponsible sex. To be a responsible person is not how u take care of ur business alone but it is soley fixed on how u train the society that’s how you take care of and r committed to your wife and kids. Today a lot of youth and even old adult are not ready to be committed but rather look soley for sex and later abandon their partner for another. It brings greatly about divorce and it affects a lot the society. I will speak later about the blinded effect premarital sex has brought to our society.

  49. dominic says:

    Check the psychological stress of the youth of today is greater than that of our fathers’ of some centuries ago despite that they are very poor and uncivilized. The truth still remain is that premarital sex has left a lot of our youth into irresponsible live and fear of the unknown in relationship. We are enjoying sex saying it can’t be controlled. Who say so…? Let the best doctor or psychologist or philosophy hookup on a debate with me on or +2348182616981. I will tell them that sex is a very powerful energy and pleasure but nothing is beyond human mind control except the last moment of death… Nevertheless man is also easily addicted and that’s why we are addicted and our youth can’t help themselves… I have had encounter I mean secret encounter with some sex addicted youth and you will know it hunts them n they wish to stop it because there are other aspect of their life which is being suppressed by the excessive sexual urges uncontrolled… We need to learn selfcontrol… Because a man is a man and a woman is a woman when he or she can control his or her self especially sexual urges… Let’s us be sincere and not let our addiction cloud our true sense of human nature… I am a 27yrs old guy… I am happy a virgin… Waiting to marry soon…

  50. […] until marriage still matters in America, but to a declining number of people.  According to one estimate, only about 3 percent of American females and males now wait until marriage to have sex; a […]

  51. […] until marriage still matters in America, but to a declining number of people.  According to one estimate, only about 3 percent of American females and males now wait until marriage to have sex; a […]

  52. Aaron says:


    I am one of those people who isn’t going to claim that there’s not a God, but doesn’t go to church.

    I just want to state with the practicality that is in waiting till marriage for sex. Do you guys want to pay child support for children that you didn’t mean to have? Do you girls want to raise children with the aid of no spouse? Sexually-transmitted disease, anyone?

    If you are a virgin who just isn’t sure if you can wait any longer, consider your life ten years from now, paying the consequences of premarital sex, or not. It is all up to you, whther you abstain in the present, or not.

  53. Aaron says:

    Thumbs up to this website, which helps us virgins have the patience to do what we know is best!

  54. Scott says:

    How many of that 10 million that “waited” are under 16 years old? Nearly all of them. 340 million Americans, 3% = just over 10 million. 1/6 of America is under age 16. Guess which ones actually wait?

  55. […] and should be given education of both ways. Here are some statistics for you guys to think about: About 3% of Americans successfully wait until marriage to have sex, in highly religious groups up to… So even though the percentages aren’t high they had the option, so I believe everyone should […]

  56. kezia says:

    Hey! Just wanted to clarify a point you made when you said” “People who argue that waiting till marriage is anti-feminist often base their argument on the assumption that only women wait. That argument kind of falls apart if almost the same amount of guys wait too, because then it’s equal (and equal is pro-feminist).”

    Equality is pretty much the key component of feminism, but there’s a little more to it than that. Other than the fact that more women “wait” than men, there’s also the problem of encouraging “waiting” at all. Feminism isn’t just about women, it’s about lots of other marginalized groups too (it’s called “intersectionality”). What feminists are attempting to do more than anything else is not just raising women up to men’s level, per se, but rather breaking down established notions about gender and gendered actions (like sex and marriage) that many people see as harmful.
    For instance, in this case, the emphasis is on “purity.” This assumes that sex is impure, which is harmful to everybody that likes sex (which is most people). To imply that a woman is less of a person, or less “pure”, simply because she’s had a sexual experience with someone that’s not her partner for life, even if those same standards are applied to men, isn’t very fair, equal, or feminist. To advocate making a pledge to severely limit your choices from an early age instead of encouraging young people to think carefully about decisions they’ll ave to face in different situations is kind of restrictive- and anything that limits growth isn’t good for anyone!

  57. […] of Americans believe that abortion should be legal in at least some circumstances. According to, only 3 percent of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. According to, […]

  58. N says:

    Waiting until marriage is possibly one of the most emotionally unhealthy practices today. Sensory pleasure (which is at its peak through sexual relations) is essential for a happy life. Marrying someone with whom you may have NO sexual chemistry at all is like begging to be thrown into a life of physical displeasure. As Kezia points out, even the vocabulary is harmful. Why is sex “impure?” Why is a natural — and extremely pleasurable! — impulse seen as something negative? Instead of teaching abstinence, you should teach responsible sex. You should teach boys and girls about consent. You should teach them to use contraception should they engage in sexual relations outside of marriage. There is absolutely NOTHING moral about teaching abstinence. There IS morality in teaching responsibility, in teaching contraceptive methods, in teaching consent and so on. Understand, people, that sex is a natural and pleasurable part of life. Don’t force yourselves into displeasure.

  59. Jegsy Scarr says:

    N: Really? Sensory pleasure is ESSENTIAL for a happy life? Wow, and here’s me thinking that my life was happy…

    I agree: marrying someone with whom you have no sexual chemistry at all might be a problem. But you can have sexual chemistry without having sex.

    And who the heck said sex was “impure” or negative? Sex is awesome! That’s why people choose to wait till marriage – because they want to save that awesome experience with the one person they choose to spend the rest of their life with.

    And your statements about “Instead of teaching abstinence…” etc. are very strange indeed. This is a support website for ADULTS who have made an informed, personal decision to wait till marriage for sex. It is NOT a teaching website aimed at children and teenagers to try to convince them to wait, too. No one is teaching abstinence here.


  60. […] up in a state with no sex ed or really bad sex ed since you’ve banned Planned Parenthood. Only 3% of americans wait until marriage to have sex; In highly religious groups, only 20% wait unti… So your kids have a pretty good chance at having sex before marriage. I mean, I hope you’re […]

  61. Google@MissChristiLuv says:


  62. […] in advertising. While the majority of people have probably done the deed, statistics show that 3% of Americans save sex for marriage. That’s 1 in 30 […]

  63. […] to this website, only three percent of Americans wait until marriage to lose their virginity, which would make the […]

  64. chris says:

    I am a man. I had countless propositions but I waited till I was 31 years old before I got married and had sex. Not having control over your body like a dog in heat rubbing on everything is simple weakness. men who can’t wait are weak, and can offer you nothing in marriage if they can not even maintain a simple commitment to wait. if a man can’t honor his woman with marriage first he does not love her over himself. love is sacrifice. everyone wants to explore and have sex so get over it. discipline, with out it you are weak. men have sex with everything else but reserve the best for marriage, so if they are not willing to marry first, guess what how they really regard you? just a semen dumpster. Now I only associate my wife with sex, I never desire sex with anyone else because it would be a disgusting concept let alone action. My wife is my home and my joy. she will always be the most beautiful in my sight in all stages of her life. if you destroy your ability to love your woman the way she was intended to be loved, you have lost beyond measure. sex isn’t about tricks and who can sit and spin the most on your lap. these are fools preaching to fools. sex is the fusion of two souls. you should never have sex with a person you are not willing to live and die for. if you regard sex is just a recreational past time, or a simple act, then that’s is all it will ever be for YOU. for others it is what you make it. don’t sell out and expose yourself to HPV and other stds to pass down to the one you do marry. Don’t addict yourself to the pleasure of sex sampling so you later numb yourself to the growth and development you gain with the person you love and was always only yours and you theirs. don’t haunt yourself with the flavors of past flings that you crave and compare and slowly erode your marriage with resentment and disappointment. don’t conform when you know large majority are a bunch of foolish cattle. why present your ultimate love a hand me down gift that has been unwrapped and rewrapped over and over again. why be a notch on some fools bed post? a man who is a whore is less than dung. they corrupt and ruin others they beguile with empty promises and lies. the test of love is marriage. a man loves you if he is willing to wait because he knows you wants you and does not need to test or sample or play with you. he wants to put a ring on your finger before anyone else gets the chance. a man on the fence waits and tries to brake you down by whining and complaining and threatening, and insulting you until you give in and he leaves for something better. real sex (not gay sex)is what creates life and can bring death (stds) its not a game and its meant for two people alone. My wife is beautiful and will be the only woman I ever had and will ever be with. no sex before marriage is the womans proof of love and sincerity. throw that tool away and you have nothing else…..unless he donates his kidney to you. lol

  65. […] Few serious Christ-followers would find the first option acceptable, and yet time and time again the second option has proven to be tragically flawed. With a little honest reflection, we can all see that today’s evangelical church has a real problem integrating a proper attitude toward sex and self-image with a Christian worldview. We don’t seem to know what to do with our sexuality, and since we can’t ignore it, we just kind of tack it on as an urge that has to be satisfied when absolutely necessary and ignored or disowned the rest of the time. Oh, the church has made some feeble attempts to counter the open sexuality of pop culture with cringe-worthy slogans like “modest is hottest,” and creepy attempts to make marriage seem exciting and hip through books with titles like Red Hot Monogamy.1 The fact remains (from what I have observed) that we send young people out into the world with the option of either denying (or minimizing) their own sexuality, or embracing some version of secular culture’s view. You tell me how effective these methods are proving to be.2 […]

  66. Chris says:

    Cool! This article is posted on my birthday!

  67. […] of Americans believe that abortion should be legal in at least some circumstances. According to, only 3 percent of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. According to, […]

  68. […] either country waits until marriage to have sex. In fact, a pro-abstinence website brags that a whopping 3 percent of Americans save themselves for […]

  69. […] June 2, 2014), Mike, “4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA,”, (accessed June 2, […]

  70. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex …… […]

  71. Smith says:

    Well if anyone is debating on having premarital sex I think I can give, what I would consider an interesting perspective. I’m a 22 year old guy. I’m a spiritual person, and my relationship with God is the most important part of my life. I wholeheartedly believed in waiting until marriage to have sex. I have turned down dozens of opportunities to have intercourse, but have had my fair share of experiences. I recently had been contemplating on having sex and had been praying to God about the matter. Even though I had no intention of doing it premarital. I had been thinking of how hard it would be to find a relationship with a girl who hasn’t given up her virginity, let alone one day finding a spouse who hasn’t. Anyway, I recently found myself in a familiar situation where I got unfamiliar results. I was at a party at my friend’s school and been dancing with a girl, who I ended up going home with. (Not particularly out of the ordinary) But I very subjectively, for the sake of time and explanation, seemed to have been given the ok to do so. It was weird I prayed before deciding to go through with it and tried to discern the situation at hand. I ended up having sex with this girl, the only things I knew about her were her name, that she was fine, and a dancer for the school, and soon after that, that she was very experienced. To me if I was going to lose my virginity outside of marriage, this was a close to an ideal scenario. The sex was interesting, honestly not all it was cracked up to be, despite her being experienced, very flexible, and doing something’s I didn’t even know could be done. After I didn’t feel any remorse, I was a bit confused, especially given my views and plans on the matter of premarital sex. I had been praying before, during, and after having sex with her. Now a few weeks later I am EXTREMELY regretful. It was fun, but not worth giving up that gem of a gift. I feel as though I threw that gift I planned to give my future wife away for nothing. I am torn inside about my decision, and as of right now that is the only thing in my life that I completely wish I could take back. I hope whoever reads this can look at my mistake as reassurance, and maybe that will be some good that comes out of this situation. If you were to ask me if you should wait I would say yes, wait. I can’t tell you it will be worth it given as I never made it that far. But as a person who tried and failed I wish I could have.

  72. […] of Americans believe that abortion should be legal in at least some circumstances. According to, only 3 percent of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. According to, […]

  73. b s sims says:

    There was no mention of the christians who don’t believe oral is sex. Include them and your percentages are very low single digits.

  74. Joe Rocket says:

    Smith, have no shame man. You lived, you made what you feel is a mistake, and you learned brother. Now you can grow and take a lot away from that experience into what you want in the future. That is better than my case. Atleast you are not a 24 year old male and haven’t had sex, as in myself. I haven’t even kissed a girl on the lips. I think it is different for every person and remorse seems to be in how bad you want sex to begin with.

    The question I would like to ask of you is if you would consider yourself as someone with a high or low sex drive? I think that has a lot to do with how you would feel after sex.

    I probably have the same background as you, however I’ve never really had a girlfriend other than going on dates/discussing values, wants, desires, and what not.

    As far as my background I was raised in an extremely religious household. What secular professionals would term fundamentalist/charismatic. I always felt extremely close to “God.” I been tempted, had offers to have girls find me hookups or friends. I even had one girl, who was pretty good looking, very attractive, who all my friends would have hopped on given the chance, give me her number and tell me if I ever wanted any sexual favors to give her a call. I did what I thought was the right thing and through away the number, wanting to be a good man and respect the girl. I never pursued that, and my friends thought I was a complete fool. The fact is I was raised to respect women and followed a biblical principle of treating them honorably and thoughtfully.

    My buddies were standing right next to me when she did this, and they about ragged me out about it. You know, “Man, you should get with that, you should do it, blah, blah.

    The fact is man, from everyone I talk to, I’m told I’m attractive. From girls my age to their moms, aunts, other family friends that are women. They all can’t figure out how the hell I’m still single. I’m tall, in shape. I’m talkative, intelligent, educated, I have a job with a Fortune 500 company. I make over 100k a year.

    The fact of the matter is because of my religion, because of my faith, I’ve missed out on so much relationship experience, so much time I wasted waiting on a girl similar to me, with the same values, traits and beliefs.

    What I’ve found out is that I either am a “true believer” or I just took my faith way to seriously. I mean really, every girl I’ve talked to who was raised in church my age has had sex. Even those way younger than me by 4-5 years. They really can’t even believe I haven’t when I tell them. In fact, most people think I’m down right lying. Like its a joke. They think it is a shame, that I’m just saving face or something.

    I feel so conflicted, so let down, so upset. The fact is I expect this from the “unsaved”. I fully trusted the “Lord” that he atleast show me a woman compatible with me.

    I’ve only recently studied statistics like this that point to the real reality. That I’m am a very rare case. Extremely, I feel totally uncomfortable when love or sex is brought up now. Like I’m a damn 3 or 4 year old. The worse thing that happened recently is some of my coworkers found out about it when we went eat and they realized how uneasy I was conversating about sex. They was like man you don’t have a woman. You don’t have a girlfriend? How much have you dated. Then they basically picked me apart and I started to explain what and how I believed and that I was a virgin. Oh my God, the onslaught began. They were like you need to take care of that man. Are you kidding me. Literally, I’m the only guy my age that I know that hasn’t had sex. Other than the Muslim I worked with who is 28 and is a virgin.

    It has practically ruined my faith. Dude, every time I was approached I wish I would have just went ahead and took advantage of the situation. I can hardly say I even believe in a God anymore. I’ve even had to go to counseling because of it. I’ve been told that a person’s sexuality has a lot to do with their identity and personal well being.

    I am absolutely fucking miserable. Why, I am a person with a ridiculously high sex drive and I’ve held out this long. I feel completely distraught, like I can’t take it anymore. I don’t drink and I never been to a club or tried to chase women in a lustful manner, but I’m about to start.

    The feelings I have are unbelievable. I am 100 percent convinced that the only people who are comfortable with holding on to their virginity are those who don’t have a high sex drive or it isn’t a priority to them.

    Warning, if you are someone who wants sex, who desires sex, or who wants intimacy do not wait until marriage. It will mess up your psychology so bad you will have to go to mental rehab. It is a terrible feeling. Absolutely terrible.

  75. Joe Rocket says:

    To top it all off, even girls who have little sexual experience find it as a huge turnoff when a man doesn’t have any sexual experience. In fact, from dating sites to talking in person I’ve found that many woman prefer a man with sexual experience. These are so called Christian women.

    So, I’ve come to a few conclusions.

    1. I’ve held women far to highly and as my worldly friends would tell me, I’ve put the “Vagina/Pussy” on a pedestal.

    2. I took my faith way to seriously, read the bible vehemently, actually believed it, prayed about my decisions and let my own inhibitions be subservient to some fairy tale doctrine that no one truly believes anyway. The faith I lived out and believed in and followed with diligence is only a label to some and nothing more. I should have taken up a similar view and I would have been a healthier person.

    3. I am beginning to understand seizing the moment. I haven’t really lived, I haven’t really done what I truly wanted to do in life. I’ve lived a life for a belief and for what other people think which even they didn’t even follow it like I did. All these judgmental elders dabbled in their sins and then “came to Jesus.” Then they pass on these wild standards to their youth and their children. This is the ultimate crime. Totally ridiculous. It is one thing to live a life then change it because you want to. However, being raised in a belief and then being expected to follow a certain code. It should be made unlawful. Other people shouldn’t be able to brainwash their kids into a certain system or set belief structure. They should have the ability to choose. It think such garbage should made illegal.

    4. Anyone making the decision to wait until marriage better make sure it is their choice alone and that it is really what they want to do. Not because of a religion or pressure from their superiors. You have to make sure it is right for you and that it is your decision. The consequences for your mental and physical health are to costly for it not to be. Please, heed my advice and search deep within yourself if it is the right decision for you. Please, don’t do what I did and make choices on the basis of some belief system or set of ideologies.

  76. Joe Rocket says:

    5. OH the best one of all. The lie you hear in children’s church and youth groups that God has this perfect and beautiful person waiting for you. Oh my God, why did I ever believe that. Anyone who teaches this, whether it be a pastor, children’s pastor, or youth pastor needs to find the nearest cliff and jump off because it is a lie. It is an absolute sham. The fact is, according to the bible, where is the biblical basis for that. That is a lie and I’m sorry I believed such nonsense like a blundering idiot.

  77. […] took me until I was out of college to realize that nearly everyone has sex before marriage, and that always has been the norm and always will be the norm. And, I […]

  78. soojab says:

    young wild and free..for teen agers.

  79. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  80. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  81. Roy Baxley says:

    @Joe Rocket Man, I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough go of it. I understand what you mean. I have a high sex drive too its very frustrating and I have waited this long. I think your virginity is the best and only gift you can give and that it should be saved for the person you know you want to be with for the rest of your life. I want to wait until marriage but I fear that I won’t ever find someone to be with. I only know one girl who is a Christian that is actually waiting until marriage to have sex and finds inexperienced guys attractive. I asked her about it once and she said it means that they’re already way more committed, loyal, responsible, and trustworthy than other guys will ever be. Hold out, man. Keep your mind clear and focused. Don’t let it be clouded and obsessed with sex. Let it fade to the background and when you meet a woman, be honest. Sex isn’t as all-important and all-consuming as people crack it up to be. It’s not the ultimate pleasure either. People search for pleasure and happiness and think sex can make them happy. Sex is just an action, a release, a desire. Maybe its sinful, maybe not. The happiest you can ever be is in loving someone you know will stay with you and love you for the rest of your life, and not have to worry they might leave. That isn’t sex. Don’t throw away all those years and all the time spent being self-controlled and disciplined. It will be worth the wait. I also believed that lie about that perfect person that is just waiting for you. What crap. It’s not true. She’s not gonna be just waiting around like she knows when you’re coming and who you are and all that, like she’s a present. She probably has a life and you’re gonna have to pursue her, seek her out, you might have to look and try and fight. But please don’t give up. Is sex really all you want out of life?


  82. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  83. MATT says:

    I had sex formy first time aat age 16, with a girl that same age.I am 24 now an married.I ffind my pre-marital sex gave me lots of experience for good, even AWESOME sex in marriage,plus a necesssry ingredient,love nd friendship with my wife! Naturally as a roman catholic I have been is constant moortal sin with the gatttes of hell waiting for me!!!But,ow I enjoyed pre.maritalsex and how much more i enjoy marital sex!

  84. MATT says:

    After losing my virginity at 16, I had “missionary” se,But shortly I began to learn other positions and almost endless posibilities having sex with my girlfriend, hich I will not describe out of modesty and for respsct for her;I will only say she knew a lot and learned a lot withh me!

  85. Jegsy Scarr says:

    @MATT: “Naturally as a roman catholic I have been is constant moortal sin with the gatttes of hell waiting for me!!!But,ow I enjoyed pre.maritalsex and how much more i enjoy marital sex!”

    Please tell me you’re a troll…


  86. […] fact is, only 3% of Americans are virgins when they get married. If you click on that link, it will take you to a site promoting the wait […]

  87. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  88. Ricki says:

    I am 28 and still a virgin and I intend to be until I get married as I am a devoted Christian. When you know Jesus, the love He gave for the world by dying on the Cross, with hours of torture FOR YOU, … you realise that sex is nowhere near as important as love, and the meaning of love is vast and immense and can be expressed in many ways (and those who say that sex is as important are leaning towards a selfish belief and distorted view of life) … why have the divorce rates increased? Look at the amount of disrespect in the world… what happened to the purity and sense of beauty n relationships… not only that, but no wonder the rates of premarital sex are increasing, look at the ideas and how we have influenced the next generation and the generation to come…
    I see sex as the icing on the cake when in the right reationship and married, not as the flour! Otherwise if you base your life around sex (which can very often become an unhealthy addiction, making comparisons constantly with other people… it will be an unhealthy relationship).
    God bless

  89. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  90. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  91. Biswajit Dhir Deo says:

    I’m 31 And a virgin. I’m Indian And its common to find even 40 years virgins here lol sadly young Indians r now indulging in pre maritial sex. But India still has the highest number of virgin people as old as 40 years. I sometime wonder what would mean me keeping my virginity for the right person if I fell in love with a girl who had few sex partners? That would be so unfair to me. I’m so confused and lost .

  92. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  93. jacob says:

    thanks for all the stats i got an A+ on my assessment task thanks heaps

  94. I' sure you'll wish you were me! says:

    There are no “simple” answers (BUT there are many more “Simple” people)

    Unfortunately everyone has a bias regarding most subjects – and they each manage to find “documented” support for their bias. Essentially I suggest one does what he or she believes is right for them!
    I am an agnostic professor at an Ivy League University and the first time my wife and I “agreed” to have my erection in her vagina was on our wedding night. But he we gratified each other orgasmicly more often (having “outercourse”) than most very promiscuous couples. (We agreed on this!!!) We subsequently had a most glorious “sex life” (we referred to it as “making love”) for the next fifty plus years! WE averaged “making love (with each other) more than one hundred times a year for that long (and my wife remained multiorgasmic for the last theirty years!) – and the last time we did “it” was forty eight hours before she died of cancer. Whatever “turns you on!” Remember that’s why they make vanilla and that’s why they make vanilla – they both are satisfying, and fattening.

  95. I' sure you'll wish you were me! says:

    Last sentence needs correction! “that’s why they make chocolate and that’s why they make vanilla – they both are satisfying and – fattening!

  96. […] practiced. However, only 3-20% of people successfully wait until marriage to have sex (source: 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA | ). That's a failure rate of at least 80%. That means if someone is taught abstinence only, they […]

  97. Christa says:

    This is misleading, wrong, and downright vile. People, do your own research!!! Do not be afraid to look beyond Christian readings. You are being lied to and misled!

  98. Jegsy Scarr says:

    @Christa: What is it about the article that you find misleading, wrong or vile? (Also, this isn’t a Christian website – this article was written by the agnostic site founder – so reading this article is technically “looking beyond Christian readings.”)


  99. […] 3 percent of the U.S. population waits until marriage to have sex, which is about 10 million people. And of highly religious people, […]

  100. Annabell says:

    So you say that you want everyone to wait until marriage? what if someone is forced to have sex. say that they get raped? are they sinners and aren’t honest and trustworthy?

  101. Jegsy Scarr says:

    @Annabell: Where does the article say anything of the sort?

    The article gives a list of statistics. Nowhere does it say that “everyone should wait till marriage”. Nowhere does it suggest that people who have sex, least of all people who are forced to have sex against their will, are in any way dishonest or untrustworthy. It says nothing of sin or sinners, because the article wasn’t written by a religious person.

    I have no idea what article you read, but I don’t think it could have been this one.


  102. […] of all, I fail to see how this embraces sexuality as it mandates abstinence until marriage which 97% of Americans fail to do, and secondly, it totally ignores homosexuality and gender fluid individuals.  At the end of the […]

  103. […] En general solo el 3% esperan (exitosamente) hasta el matrimonio. (ver más) […]

  104. Lightpost says:

    People read into things what they want to see. I did not find this at all religous. Just facts. Some may not like the facts but numbers never lie.
    Three percent of the population of the USA is 10 Million people. That is a lot of people. I wonder what our society would look like if that was 100%? A lot less divorces. A lot less fatherless kids I expect. A lot fewer divorce lawyers and a wealthier nation. Saving your virginity until marriage is difficult to do and I applaud those who are waiting and those who have waited. It makes marriage a much more meaningful experience. I am sure there are those that disagree but the wreckage of a society based on free sex is all around you to view at your leisure. Before you label me as a religious nut I am neither religious nor am I stupid. I just observe what is going wrong in society and can trace much of it back to shaky relationships based on poor decisions related to sex and marriage. Excellenmt website that promotes the better way.

  105. […] get me wrong. I’m not objecting to people living together. Only 3% of people in America remain abstinent until marriage. What I object to is making money promoting abstinence while not […]

  106. […] (U of Chicago again) and causes us to be much less likely to have sex outside marriage (one source of many- this source is likely […]

  107. Clint R says:

    34 year old virgin. Pure women, I am out here… Where in the world are you??? I have the money. Maybe I should move to Utah or Texas for awhile…

  108. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex …… […]

  109. Anonymous says:

    hello, I’m a teenage girl and definitely plan on waiting until marriage. For all you guys that are facing struggles and can’t seem to find someone with your same beliefs, don’t give up. God knows what he is doing.

  110. […] 2010, as part of Bristol Palin’s apology tour for doing that thing 97 percent of Americans do before marriage, Bristol and Mama Palin went on the Oprah Winfrey Show to reaffirm that after her out-of-wedlock […]

  111. […] encourage our nation’s youth to forego birth control and keep themselves ‘pure’ by not doing what most Americans do pre-wedlock. After all, teen pregnancies are highest in states that push abstinence-only […]

  112. […] encourage our nation’s youth to forego birth control and keep themselves ‘pure’ by not doing what most Americans do pre-wedlock. After all, teen pregnancies are highest in states that push abstinence-only […]

  113. unknown says:

    You’re stats don’t add up. You can’t infer those that remain abstinent from what the study showed. You’re grammar is also terrible. Please educate yourself before you write these slanted articles. Thanks.

  114. Jegsy Scarr says:




  115. myth buster says:

    To those of you who succumbed to temptation, take heart and repent. Fornication is a sacrilege against the sanctity of sex, and those who engage in it bring the wrath of God upon themselves, but if anyone sins, do not lose heart, for we have Jesus Christ who pleads for us with the Father. Rend your heart and return to Him, for He is supremely merciful.

  116. Samuel Vah says:

    I am a christian from Liberia who strongly believe in marriage before sex all because the Bible says so(1COR.6:12-20,2TIM2:22,1COR.5:1-2,ROM.12:1-3)e.t.c.To all my christians brothers and sisters let us continue to flee from fornication until the Lord send our rightful partners in Jesus Name.

  117. Montana says:

    Now that gay marraige is legally mandatory in the US will gay (that is homosexual/BLTG) people finally start waiting till marraige to have sex? I’ve always thought that was the issue the bible thumpers had with it (because sex before marraige was comsidered the nearly highest sin in the bible punishable by stoning to death and what not).

  118. skeptic says:

    The important question is “Is it a good idea to wait?” Are marriages between people who wait more successful than marriages between those who don’t? What if you compare those who wait with those who don’t but who avoided pregnancy before marriage? Do people who wait until marriage tend to marry earlier than those who are sexually active before marriage? In general earlier marriages are less successful. Are people who wait more likely to marry early to get some satisfaction? Does that make their marriages more likely to fail?

  119. Lightpost says:

    Skeptic, Yes the statistics do point to the fact that men and women who wait have stronger and longer lasting relationships than those that don’t. The correlation between a massively high divorce rate of 50% and the onset of sexual promiscuity on a grand scale is irrefutable. The link is obvious. I don’t think that people who wait get married any earlier or later than the average. In my case, when I found out my wife had sex with her former boyfriend before me I just thought it was pointless waiting until our wedding night and threw out my long held desire to wait. The result was a ho hum wedding night that had no real meaning for either of us. To me, without a shadow of a doubt, there is a bonding that occurs with the first person you have sex with that is never broken by time or space. While people deny that (and I have had many arguments on the subject) the truth is you always remember your first and that memory lasts a lifetime….whether you liked or disliked the person does not matter. That memopry is burned in your memory forever.
    I know this is the case for my wife as she can remember exactly where, when and how she lost her virginity in detail but cannot remember when we first had sex.
    It is especially true for women but also true for men also. It is an unforgettable event in your life and those who deny that are not being truthful.

  120. Tik. says:

    Thank you Mike for sharing these numbers.

  121. To All the Men Waiting... says:

    Kudos. Your future wife will thank you (if she upholds your same values). I am a 31yrold female who will remain to wait for my future husband — I’ve dated guys who haven’t waited, but I’ve always believed my future husband is somewhere waiting for me as well. Stay strong, it’ll be worth it.

  122. Stephan Warg says:

    Seek your bliss, yes you can climb, climb
    But the mountain top has no holy meaning
    Without the shadowy confusion in the valley below

    Where else can one go else than higher?
    Why down to that place where we are worse than wild animals
    when the Father of Universe created us noble?

    Or should we seek instead for a deeper contentment
    with the knowledge that Lord lives in our hearts
    no matter if we have our home up high or in the depths of despair?

    My broken house in the valley of despair, my broken start in this life
    doesn’t mean that I have a broken heart to give a wife
    doesn’t mean that I have closed my heart for God and a holy life
    My existence down here in the valley is not a life beyond control
    and doesn’t mean that I can’t love my wife higher than the man on the mountain top

  123. Danielle says:

    I would like to think this number is higher in counting those couples that have been physical, and then determined through different means that maybe waiting is a good thing. (Myself included) definitely a hard thing to do, but so rewarding for us as well. I know as we grow closer as a couple we relate and get to know each other on all other levels first. Marriage will allow us to embody all aspects of a relationship, as it should . A commitment we will choose for a lifetime.

  124. Waitingfortherealdeal says:

    I have to say i am 30 and have believed in abstinence until marriage my whole life. Its hard to date someone and find out your differences on abstinence long after. I have met a lot of amazing guys and could have been sexually active with anyone of them and probably happy with them for quite a while. But sex just like your body gets old and after all of that what is left? I have contimplated changing my decision for abstinence many a times. But i know its not true to myself and would never end in a true heartfelt relationship that would last. I myself have been lucky enough to have been in a relationship twice with all cards on the table. One for three years one for four. It lasted and ended only because of petty other shit such as jail time and drugs…i was not ready to commit to that. But the abstinence was not a problem for these so called worldly men. All i can say is…doubt yourself but at the end of the day whatever you choose be true to yourself….be honest and up front with those u date and are interested in. Have faith and in time you will find that person capable of caring beyond their selfish reasons.

  125. God says:

    God bless

  126. says:

    This is interesting,but innocent people ratio is going down. In Pakistan more Than 95% people wait until marriage.

  127. ayy lmao says:

    if i had a dollar for every gender there was i’d have 2 dollars

  128. Behrooz says:

    Hello Mike
    Actually I’m not from the United States but the article and the website in general brought so much hope to me!

  129. Statistician says:

    That 3% statistic is a bit misleading resulting in saying 10M are waiting. One cannot take 3% of the entire USA population and have a reliable statistic. 3% of the age 16 – 50 population would give a much more accurate number. I don’t think we can reliably report that infants are waiting to have sex until marriage.

  130. Neoriental says:

    Divine peace or shalom in hebrew be upon the truthseekers. I am an orthodox and orthoprax Muslim electrical engineer from Pakistan and a student of sacred texts of Tafsir, Hadith and Ahlulbayt which we consider to be the universal Ark of Salvation in this global flood and firestorm of promiscuity and materialism. I love an American Muslim cousin, but her mother thinks that I am devout 99% while she is devout 1%. So, I wanted to learn the statistics of abstinence in US and which makes me very hopeful because she is 97% devout while Americans are 3% devout 🙂

  131. andrew says:

    i want gril for my mariigw white gril in us r uk canda

  132. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex … […]

  133. Bray says:

    3% you say…What if half of these people lied? How many of these people got divorced within the first year of marriage? What if half these people are gay? Does 3% include children? For example: there are 13 years old who are having sex, so if a 13 year isn’t having sex are they in this 3%. What if a person waited for marriage, but got married when they were 15-18? I attended church 7 times a week (not on Tuesday, twice on Sunday). I was a member of most the youth groups in my area. I was also a member of the Eastwood United Methodist Purity Circle. I’ve met 3 people in my age range (20-35) that “waited” for marriage. One was 15, one was 16, one was 18 when they got married and were divorced within 5 years. The one who was 18, has been married 3 times and she is only 32. Do these people count? I’ve met probably 50+ people with bipolar and that effects 2% of the population. I’ve met 200+ “gay” people at 4% of the population. Are you telling me people who are gay or have bipolar are more willing to admit this, then people who are waiting for marriage? You haven’t polled everyone in the USA, so how do you know your numbers add up? You shouldn’t base your statistics on a localized population in the Bible belt.

  134. Anonymous says:

    Do not base your choice to wait for marriage on religion. Base your choice on what you feel in your heart is right for you.

    Matthew 6:14–15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

    1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

    Religion clearly has nothing to do with it. When all sin can be wiped away by the hand of god.

  135. […] Though this may seem like small percentage (and the number continues to drop), according to Waiting Till Marriage… […]

  136. […] de se casar (cerca de 12% dos adolescentes) e aqueles que realmente conseguem ficar sem fazer (apenas 3%). Os autores do estudo acreditam que quem quebra a promessa acaba usando menos perservativos quando […]

  137. […] There is the statistic that shows only 3% of Americans wait to have sex until marriage, approximatel… […]

  138. Bob Gregory says:

    All of you that are waiting to marriage were probably loser through highschool and college. So f*** yall i lost mine at 15.

  139. Bob Gregory says:

    And hail hydra

  140. Vick Macky says:

    Can someone please help? I have been emailing and leaving messages and nobody is responding. people are not getting the confirmation emails! take a look at when the last new member signed up.

    I would love to join this site but it looks like you’re experiencing some major tech issues.

    Someone please email me back at

  141. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA […]

  142. David Caulfield says:

    We waited until marriage and it was not easy. Also we got off to a really bad start because we were naïve and inexperienced. (She was 25 and I was 29 y.o.) We both have a strong libido and sometimes had an orgasm just kissing; there was no sexual touching or hands under clothes.

    Was it worth it. I am not sure. All I know is there would never have been anyone else whether we did it before we married or not.
    We had a very exciting sex life until my wife passed away in an accident.
    We had only sex about 4,000 times but it is the quality that is important. (i.e. twice a week for 40 years; I masturbated regularly as well).

    We experienced the freedom that comes from obedience to God and the intimacy that can only exist when a relationship is completely exclusive.
    We knew that we could do anything we pleased and were free to explore every possible way of enjoying our union that we could think of.

    Because we started as virgins we felt that God joined in a way that is only possible the first time. Sex was always exciting because we used it to strengthen the love for the spiritual inner being of each other, always knowing that we were going to be together in eternity.

  143. River mountain says:

    I think it is impossible to know how many people waited until marriage to have sex.
    That is the one thing people do lie about. Especially in today’s culture.
    So I take any sex statistic with huge grain of salt.

  144. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex … […]

  145. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex … […]

  146. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex … […]

  147. […] like Ciarra that are successfully waiting through their own beliefs or faith. Based on statics from WaitngTillMarriage.Org, about 3 percent of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. That may seem like a small number […]

  148. Boris says:

    Whoa whoa, pump your breaks mike. The #1 fact you have listed is woefully inaccurate. First of all not ever single american of 318.9 million (2014 statistic) is married which amounts to 9.56 million if you do 3 percent as you stated. However if you are referring to the 2003 study done on couples who waited to have sex until marriage was only 2% and again not every single american is married therefore its 2% of 60.25 million married in the year 2016 (according to this equates to only 1.2 million. You know what else changed, premarital sex acceptance from 2000 being 42% to 2012 being 58% according to so at the moment its even less likely to find a partner willing to wait until marriage and therefore even less than 2% since acceptance was on the rise from 2003, which is also unhealthy and reckless at the least to say. So dont mislead some hopefuls out there thinking 10 million is a large number and they have a good chance, they do not!

  149. […] 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA … – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA November 30th, 2012 by Mike. Compared to other groups with similar numbers, people who wait until marriage to have sex … […]

  150. Anonymous says:

    OK so i have to do a project about world problems, and we chose pre-marital sex. I am having trouble finding statistics about this topic. You guys got any ideas???

  151. […] even before birth control 11% of people still had marriage. To me this shows that people just want to have sex(haha, what a surprise), but also that the idea […]

  152. […] what prompted this discussion with your students how you framed the conversation and how you were. 4 cool statistics about abstinence in the usa. 4 cool statistics about abstinence in the usa november 30th, 2012 by mike. Compared to other […]

  153. Anonymous says:


  154. Me says:

    I’m trying to find out how many relationships or marriages have lasted without doing it Gods way waiting till marriage because maybe that’s my problem even if I Marry the man I’m with and have a child with would it work even then because I broke all the rules.

  155. Me says:

    Please someone I need feedback on this

  156. Liz says:

    What about the born again Christians who have been celibate since they got saved? We are in somewhst of a pickle cause the sexual active don’t want us and the virgins don’t want us either. I’m 36, never been married, and I’ve been saved/celibate for seven years.

  157. […] only three percent of North Americans save copulation for their wedding night. This comes as no surprise for the sexual revolution has been in full accelerator for decadeswe are […]

  158. […] – 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA; Statistic Brain – Abstinence Statistics; – Trends in premarital sex in the United States, 1954-2003; Verily – Sex Regret Isn’t about Religious Guilt as Much as Biological Instincts, New Research Shows; Sutter Health Palo Alto Medical Foundation – Teen Attitudes Toward Sex; The National Marriage Project – Before I Do; Verily – Regret Is Not the Same as Slut-Shaming […]

  159. Single mom says:

    I haven’t had sex since conception of my now 2 year old so it almost been three years. Don’t want to bring any more negative situations into our life. I get lonely and I pray to god I get married one day.

  160. […] growing number of young adults are choosing to wait for marriage to have sex. Approximately 11% of 25 year olds are not having premarital sex (60% women/40% men). What happens, though, when two people start […]

  161. امیرحسین says:

    چه فرهنگ داغونی دارید شما خارجی هاااا

  162. امیرحسین says:

    iam iranian. we are muslims and our way isnt good in this subject, because we dont pay attention to our religious orders. our religous orders say you should
    being simple in marriage

  163. […] sexual morality is among the best examples of this. The person who chooses to act morally and save their virginity for marriage is functionally deciding to damage themselves (from a secular social […]

  164. […] pledges does indeed lead teens to delay sex and have fewer overall sex partners. But since just 3 percent of Americans wait until marriage to have sex, the majority of these “pledge takers” become […]

  165. […] custom, but you may be surprised to learn that abstinence is still practiced today. According to Waiting Till Marriage, an organization that supports abstinence before marriage, around three percent of the United […]

  166. Will says:

    It was a miracle that I waited. Every man surely feels that his sex drive is intense. That’s how God made us. For me, it was insane. At age 7 in the 1960s, I was already in the throes of puberty. In 2nd grade, doctors discovered I had the testosterone of a 17 year-old and it just kept climing every year.

    These doctors carefully watched me and counseled me for the next 11 years. They let me know that I was way ahead of girls in my grade and that going after them would scare them. They told me over and over again to masturbate a lot. By the time I was in high school, I already knew how to control my intense sexual urges and, like I said, it was a miracle I was able to wait.

    But, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t want it bad. I did. Thankfully, God intervened a number of times. I needed Him to keep me from destroying myself. And I surely would have.

    We both waited and it was so much fun learning each other. After 36 years of marriage, I still feel like I’m on my honeymoon! Sex has gotten better and better as the decades have gone by. And that’s exactly how God intended it to be.

    Interestingly, in the late 1990s, there was a study done on men like me. Of the 26 men diagnosed with very high testosterone in grade school, everyone of us were counseled to masturbate regularly and often to control our sex drives. And not one of us had sex before we married. How about that.

    A side study discovered that men with average to just below average testosterone levels had the highest rates of premarital sex. It’s those of us with higher testosterone that learned early to use masturbation instead of it using us valued our male sexuality to the point it was very important to us and for our future wife.

    That’s why I am very intensely against books like, “Every Man’s Battle.” For those authors never learned what God taught me early, to masturbate to His promise to me that He knew I needed my own ‘her’ and that He was going to give her to me in His perfect timing (Genesis 2:18). And He did He ever deliver on His promise!

  167. Jessica says:

    How about couples that have had children in previous relationships, but decide for future that waiting is the way to go!?

  168. […] have the edge in keeping the seal packed before marriage, they don’t have it by much. 1 in 5 people will successfully wait till marriage, and if you drop out of a devout religious community, that […]

  169. […] custom, but you may be surprised to learn that abstinence is still practiced today. According to Waiting Till Marriage, an organization that supports abstinence before marriage, around three percent of the United […]

  170. […] 3% of Americans end up actually achieving this standard. Of the ten million who wait, many do so to remain […]

  171. […] 3% of Americans end up actually achieving this standard. Of the ten million who wait, many do so to remain […]

  172. […] to, only 3% of people waited until marriage to have sex between 1994-2003.  Between 1954-1963, only 11% waited until marriage to have sex.  That  means that a lot of the […]

  173. […] Charedi Jews (ultra-Orthodox). That’s pretty amazing in this day and age. In the USA today, 3% of people marry as virgins. Amongst religious people other than Jews, 20% wait until marriage. […]

  174. Israel says:

    Among Orthodox Jews, at least 95% wait until marriage.

  175. Zdawg says:

    Well said @dominic

  176. Jim says:

    One worthwhile thing to mention is that people marry quite a bit older today on average than the did in the 50s & prior. The average age at which people have sex the first time probably has not changed much, while they are more likely to not yet be married at that age than they were before. Having to wait (on average) longer than ever before getting married makes it a lot more challenging of a commitment!

  177. […] of those who suppress it until the Church loses the war against that evil. shared some data that suggested only 20% of the members of highly religious communities are successfully waiting for […]

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