5 Reasons Why Stars Like Britney, Jessica, and Avril Fail at WaitingJune 10th, 2010 by WTM.org Community
Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Avril Lavigne: Three celebrities that used to be champions of the waiting-till-marriage cause, but whose once-lauded values have since fallen into obscurity after disgustingly trivial and short marriages. What happened? Why do these stars start out so strong in their values, and then fail so miserably?
1. They Marry Too Young
|Age at marriage for those who divorce in America|
|Under 20 years old||27.6%||11.7%|
|20 to 24 years old||36.6%||38.8%|
|25 to 29 years old||16.4%||22.3%|
|30 to 34 years old||8.5%||11.6%|
|35 to 39 years old||5.1%||6.5%|
Statistically, the younger you are when you get married, the more likely you are to get a divorce. This applies especially to those under the age of 25, who make up more than 35% of the divorced population.
Jessica Simpson married at 22. Avril Lavigne married at 21. Britney Spears had plenty of other issues and from my understanding gave up her V-card before marriage anyway, but when she did get married (for 55 hours), she was only 23…and already a train wreck by that point.
So, by the numbers, their marriages already had a high chance of failure just because of how young they were. Then you add other factors like…(see next points)
2. Saturation of Suiters
For normal people, meeting new people is a long, challenging process. For a celebrity, they walk into a room and everyone falls at their feet, already in love.
Imagine that everyone — everyone — you meet is instantly obsessed with knowing you, being nice to you, totally fawning over you and being your best buddy. And everybody in the room would kill to be near you, much less have sex with you. Forget about trying to meet new people. You literally have to focus on fending off all the of people trying to meet you.
When you can have anybody you want, and you feel an urgency to get married (e.g., because of pressure from waiting till marriage for sex), it’s just a matter of picking. The over-abundance of people in love with you makes it easy for you to make a quick, impulsive choice (like at age 21 when you really want to get married so you can have sex).
After you’ve gotten married, this abundance of options turns into abundance of temptation — it’s harder to stay faithful and committed relationship challenges when you can walk out the door and have hundreds of the most beautiful people in the world throwing themselves at you.
3. Fame-Induced Narcissism
What is Narcissism?
The word “narcissism” derives from the greek myth of Narcissus, a hunter (known for his beauty) who was so proud and so disdainful of those that loved him that the gods cursed him to fall in love with his own reflection and waste away staring at it, unable to turn away from his own beauty.
In modern terms, a person who is narcissistic is completely self-absorbed, thinks that they’re special, feels entitled to things without earning them (just because they’re special), and has an underlying sense that they’re superior to everybody in their own secret (or not so secret) way.
You may have had a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend who was totally full of himself/herself. It’s hard to maintain a relationship with that kind of person, because they only think of themselves and they always think that they’re “in the right”. There’s no give and take, and cripples relationships.
How fame makes people narcissistic
Narcissism is rampant in celebrity culture. Not necessarily because the people started out narcissistic, but because after years of everybody loving them and treating them like they’re special — they start to believe it. And thus, most celebrities end up catching at least a minor case of narcissistic thinking patterns, and subsequently lacking all ability to maintain a meaningful, two-way relationship with another human being.
This affects almost every celebrity, whether they waited till marriage to have sex or not.
4. Lack of Virtuous Peers to Reinforce Values
When you have unlimited money and unlimited love from others, it’s pretty easy to go hog-wild and just spend your life partying, snorting coke, having random sex, and buying things. That is the peer group that these waiting-till-marriage people are thrust into. Try staying committed to your marriage when all of your world-famously-cool friends are trying to drag you out to the clubs for drug/sex romps every single weekend.
Famous people, already under the influence of #2 (saturation of suiters) and #3 (celebrity-induced narcissm) are surrounded by peers who have given into those influences. Hollywood culture is about as far from the notion of “lifetime commitment” as it gets.
How normal friends help you with relationship problems
In real life, if you get into a fight with your husband, your best friend may say something like “Hey, look. If you’ll just compromise on this one point I think you guys can work it out. You’re being kind of silly about that anyway. Now give him a call and say X.”
How Hollywood friends help you with relationship problems
In Hollywood, your friend is more likely to say “Screw him! Get a divorce and let’s party. You can find a thousand guys way hotter than [husband’s name]!”. And if that’s the only advise you’re getting from everybody…after a while maybe it starts to sink in. Peer pressure is very against a lifelong marriage in Hollywood.
Especially in the case of waiting till marriage: In regular life, you’ll end up having a few friends who are waiting too (or at least friends who respect it). In Hollywood, everybody will call you crazy and you’ll be totally alone in your decision (you won’t fit in).
5. They Marry Other Celebrities
Items 1-4 above chronicle all of the reasons why it’s difficult for a celebrity — waiting till marriage or not — to maintain a marriage. When you’re a celebrity and you marry another celebrity, you double all the problems listed above. This is why celebrity marriages, as a rule, never last.
Avril Lavigne married the lead singer of Sum 41, Jessica Simpson married 98 Degrees singer Nick Lachey, and Britney Spears wast dating Justin Timberlake when she lost her virginity (rumored), and the guy she briefly married (Kevin Federline) was a thinks-he’s-a-celebrity celebrity…which is even worse than an actual celebrity.
Celebrities that marry non-celebrities are more likely to stay married
There are celebrities that successfully waited till marriage to have sex and are still married today — they all married non-celebrities, and they waited a little longer to get married. Lisa Kudrow married a marketing executive at 31. Leelee Sobiesky married a fashion designer in her late 20’s. A.C. Green married a dance teacher and singer (who is an accountant by day) at 38. And those marriages are still going very, very strong.
Look out, Jonas Brothers.
- Deryck Whibley: http://www.concertlivewire.com/interviews/deryck.htm
- Narcissus: http://www.penwith.co.uk/artofeurope/waterhouse.htm
- Nick Lachey: http://raneyemoody.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/ex-loves/