5 Reasons Why Waiting Gets Easier After CollegeOctober 2nd, 2011 by Olivier
The high school and college years are incredibly discouraging for those waiting until marriage to have sex. Among other things, those years can be marked by isolation, frustration, and doubt. You may ask yourself if things will ever get better. Well, the world won’t be a utopia after college, but here are 5 reasons why waiting just might get easier.
#1. Your Stock Rises
Examine any fruitful marriage which has also withstood the test of time. People of character comprise these marriages; these are people of respect, loyalty, authenticity, and sacrifice.
If you’re waiting until marriage, you realize that there’s more to life than sex. Most likely, you’ve developed other aspects of your character in anticipation of finding “the one”.
After college, your stock rises; there’s a higher demand for people of character such as yourself. More women think about family and place a higher premium on a man’s fatherhood potential. More men value genuineness and loyalty, realizing the worth of a woman who will walk with him through all seasons of life, from the brightest summers to the harshest winters.
#2. Others’ Stocks Decline
Let’s be delicate here. This section is not to suggest that those with colorful pasts are bad people. This is also not suggesting that it is impossible for those with a promiscuous background to have successful marriages. However, it is important to acknowledge that the widespread mentality of promiscuity/“doing your thing”, and then happily settling down, does not always become a reality.
Change is a gradual, difficult process. Old dogs really don’t like new tricks and developing character is more involved than flipping on a switch. While you’ve invested in your character, many in the promiscuous crowd have done the exact opposite. They’ve damaged their character by developing selfishness, lack of discipline, resentment, distrust, and maybe even sexism, all as a result of the casualness of their relationships and sexual encounters. The poisonous seeds which they’ve sown reap in the form of irreparable hearts. Some of the actual science behind the painful effects of promiscuity is explored in the book Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children.
Give it 2-3 years after college ends. You may find that there’s less of a demand for people with this type of underdeveloped character, their stocks decline. The bad boy loses some of his luster and the party girl doesn’t reign as freely as she once did.
Do you know a guy or girl who’s in a new relationship every couple of months or so? Does that same guy or girl complain about how there are no good members of the opposite sex?
Their problem is that they don’t develop street smarts, not in terms of finding true love. There’s no introspection or reflection on how they can improve themselves or their relationships. They date the same type of person and immerse themselves in the same drama only to wonder where things went wrong. A failed relationship can be turned into something positive if a person learns from it, but if the same mistakes are continually repeated, that person does himself/herself a disservice.
By withholding sex, you’ve developed street smarts. Ladies, you’ll be better at knowing when a guy is only after sex. Men, you’ll be better at knowing when a woman is worthy enough to bring home to mom. Watch as your spider-sense tingles whenever a jerk or mean girl enters the room. In essence, you’ll be more adept at recognizing marriage material. You won’t be perfect at it, nobody is, but you’ll be good at it.
#4. The Real World
For most people, college is not the real world. When you’ve entered into the workforce and have a decent amount of control over your own livelihood, only then have you stepped into the real world. Generally speaking, when you’re in the real world, you’re surrounded by more serious people. Instead of hearing a story about the guy who hooked up with 5 girls in one night (and couldn’t remember all the girls’ names), you’ll hear more stories about the family vacation at Sea World, and more accounts of how wondrous marriage can be despite its trials and tribulations.
This new world, this more serious environment, can prove to be a much healthier atmosphere for those who are waiting. You’ll be surrounded by more people that value inner beauty and your potential to contribute to a relationship. For you, that may mean discovering someone who can truly appreciate your worth.
#5. You’re All In
If you’ve survived the pressures and temptations that arise throughout the high school and college years, chances are that you’re “all in”, fully committed to your decision. If you haven’t
already, you reach a turning point around graduation time. A point where you know that turning your back on your decision would be an anti-climactic end to a story which began with unspeakable promise. While life won’t exactly be a fairy tale post-graduation, the strength and stability, which come from being all in, are rewards in and of themselves.