Women Have All The Power (Too Bad They Don’t Know It)September 25th, 2011 by Sally
Women Have All The Power: Too Bad They Don’t Know It was written by Michael J. Lockwood for his own daughters, urging them to have meaningful relationships by not giving up the ‘piece’ to every guy that hits on them; to help them distinguish who really cares and who doesn’t.
He says to his daughters in the introduction, “The best way for you to learn how to recognize a good man is for me to be one.”
He also says “I thought I’d never tell….then I had daughters.”
About the Author (Michael Lockwood)
His faith is very evident throughout the book such as in his acknowledgments: “I also thank God for allowing me to experience all of the joyous and painful moments that have contributed to my growth in relationships.”
1. The ‘Piece’
Lockwood encourages women to keep the ‘piece’ until marriage…
This is what Lockwood refers to sex as. If it doesn’t make sense right away, think of it as a ‘piece’ of your heart or soul. Or a ‘piece’ of your body. Not every man gets a chance to touch you at all or touch you in certain ways. Lockwood encourages women to keep the ‘piece’ until marriage. Why? Well, he has a few chapters on it, but I’ll sum it up into his top 10 list:
- You can date multiple men without being considered a slut. (He says tramp)
- You maintain control of your life and emotions
- You maintain your spiritual covenant (For those of you who WTM is partially based on religious reasons)
- You never have to worry about getting pregnant.
- You don’t have to be concerned about contracting STD’s.
- You can allow a man to show his true feelings for you and not the false ones that sex produces.
- You can focus on your personal goals.
- Men will respect and value you.
- Your marriage has a better chance of succeeding.
- Your husband will cherish you.
One of my favorite quotes his gives on keeping the piece is as follows: “A woman usually gives sex in hopes of gaining the bigger prize—the relationship. A man, on the other hand, gives in to a relationship to gain the bigger prize—sex.”
2. Give Him A ‘Peace’
…the secret is to rely on your nurturing spirit.
Since we’re WTM, we want to know other ways to show and express affection. Lockwood addresses this: “While you’re still in the dating phase, the secret is to rely on your nurturing spirit. The following is a list of pampering secret that will keep your man’s engine running and build loyalty in his heart. These are NOT first date techniques. These are used AFTER you have established an exclusive relationship.
- Pet him. Play with his ears, rub his back. Do not rub in a way that will make him think he’s about to get some. (I feel personally like that is a blurry line and hard to distinguish….)
- Rub his feet after a long day.
- Compliment of things that he looks really good in. ‘Inspect’ before he leaves: fix his tie, etc.
- Make him lunch and bring it to his work.
- When you go out to dinner, feed him his dessert.
- Leave a sweet note under his pillow.
- Prepare his favorite meal for him.
3. No War And ‘Piece’
This is why you kept the piece in the first place.
Here he is encouraging women not to feel weird about gettin’ freaky once they’re married. You’re married for goodness sake! But some women have trouble finally letting go of inhibitions, etc.
He has one section is titled ‘A Freak in the Sheets’. Some might think it’s weird that this guy is giving sex advice, BUT he says “Okay, here’s the secret to blowing your husband’s mind in bed.” Heeelllooo??!!! How many women’s magazine try to do that ?? He tries to focus on not worrying about anything — “This is why you kept the piece in the first place. You’re not worried about who he’s going to tell or what your reputation will be in the morning. It’s your husband, for God’s sake.”
My Overall Impressions
My sister thought the book was a sham—the guy seemed a bit extreme to her (he is in some parts), but overall I think he’s just really trying to hit home to women that you NEED to save SOMETHING for marriage.
Ideally he says 3 things: sex, living together, and always cooking for him. BUT, if you’ve already slept with him, at LEAST he says you need to keep the others for marriage. Otherwise, why pay for the cow when you can buy the milk for free? (My own analogy, some of my friends and I love it) I agree. As a girlfriend, I always want to be there for my guy, support him, and enjoy emotional and SOME physical intimacy. BUT, by saving some things for marriage I feel that I set myself apart from many women and set myself up to be more the ‘marrying type’. Maybe not the one the guys are crazy about when we are in high school and college, but they’ll start to see how I have respect for myself and carry myself differently, and in turn, respect me.
In closing, I’d like to share my favorite quote from this book:
…if you play your cards right while dating, a man doesn’t have a choice but to honor the authority you hold as a woman. By virtue of being a woman, you already hold the best cards in the deck. There isn’t a man out there who should be able to bluff you if you know you have a perpetual winning hand. Understand the value of your cards.(Cards being self, dating, commitment and marriage)
I’ve had plenty of guys try to “bluff” me and it definitly intrigues them when they aren’t winning/can’t win. But, they’ll still try. Girls—watch out for those guys—is basically what Lockwood is advising. It can be reaaalllly difficult to tell sometimes.