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Dating Site Review: OKCupid.com

June 1st, 2011 by

OkCupid is the world’s most popular free dating website. Unlike other dating sites like match.com and eharmony.com, which require you to pay monthly, you can use (nearly) the full extent of OKCupid’s features completely for free (they make most of their money on advertisements like Google and Facebook do). If you’re interested, there is a paid “A-list” account upgrade available, which makes your profile more prominent in search results and earns you a couple of other perks, but you can easily get by without it.

User-Created Quizzes

The core of OKCupid’s profile matching system are its user-created profile questions. You can answer as many questions as you’d like, or invent your own. For each question you indicate your own answer, and then choose the answer(s) you will deem acceptable for a potential match. You can also choose how important the question is to you.

The more questions you answer, the more it tailors your profile and your search results, and the more likely you are to get a solid match.

Here’s an example of some of OKCupid’s user-created quiz questions…


I selected “I never have!”, “No”, and “Only after the wedding”, respectively. And then I decided that anybody I would date should feel the same so I selected the same answers under the “Answers I’ll accept” category. I then decided that the question was “Mandatory.” You can also choose “Very important,” “Somewhat important,” “A little important,” and “Irrelevant.”

For all questions, OK Cupid asked me if I would like to answer the questions privately. I didn’t mind if they were public so I left those boxes unchecked. You can also add an explanation to any question you answer. I could have attached a note that said “I’m waiting till marriage to have sex, but I’d consider kissing, etc. after a few dates if I really liked the person.”

Searching for People

The site matches users based on their activities on the site as well as their answers to questions. Users can also search for matches based on their match percentage (how much they have in common) as well as age, religion, and location.

I didn’t post a photo so I can’t say much about the “Quickmatch” feature but it compares your profile picture to someone else’s and each user rates the other on a ‘five star’ scale. Users that are consistently rated higher are provided with more attractive matches. A-List (paid) users can search by star ratings as well.

I did have some complaints regarding the WTM crowd. I performed a search and specified the location as ‘anywhere’ to include, in theory, every user on OkCupid. I limited the search as much as possible to include people who were waiting. I found very few profiles and those that were waiting were usually religious. I answered questions specifically to weed out any potential matches that weren’t waiting but I don’t feel like my questions were taken seriously.

I specified “Mandatory” on many of my questions regarding sex and many of my matches weren’t even close in that category. OkCupid matches users on ethics, sex, religion, lifestyle and dating. Many of my matches were good fits ethically but not sexually. I wish I could have picked an emphasis on which category I was matched on. For those who are WTM I feel like the ‘sex’ category would get potential matches in the door and then we could talk ethics and so forth.

The Quiver

OkCupid has another feature, the quiver, that provides users with 3 matches. All of my matches have been pretty poor. Many of them are single mothers. I don’t have anything against single mothers but they certainly don’t line up with my uber-virgin profile and I am in no way mature enough to be dating someone with a kid.

Overall Impressions

Overall OkCupid offers a lot of nice features for free. I would recommend using the site to meet people and make friends but not for serious dating. It’s less focused on getting couples married and more focused on getting people together. Although it doesn’t seem like there’s many people who are waiting, this could be chalked up to how shy users are. I would guess that most people who are waiting don’t fly that flag very high.

11 Responses to “Dating Site Review: OKCupid.com”

  1. Kaitlin says:

    I’m always so unsure of online dating sites. It’s hard for me to know if we really have chemistry and can be ourselves if we can’t meet in person, but thanks for this review. :)

  2. James says:

    I’ve had an OKC account for a while. This seems to be a pretty good review of the site. I contacted them a couple months ago about incorporating the ability to designate a couple of questions as so-called “deal-breakers.” I quickly received a positive response but haven’t heard anything since.
    I’ve found very few people who are WTM, even who are “very serious” about whatever religion they are. I used to have it displayed prominently that I’m WTM and got numerous messages complementing me on the decision and being so upfront about it, but the sender usually didn’t feel the same way or lived far too far away.
    That being said, it IS a good site for meeting people in general; I’ve made a couple friends.

  3. Leo says:

    Thanks for the comments! Kaitlin, I know what you mean about chemistry. Some people tend to communicate better non-verbally and drop the ball in person. I think that given enough time you can get a pretty good picture of someone though.

    James, I’m glad you agree. I like the idea of a ‘deal-breaker’ feature, that would be very cool for the WTM crowd. I had a similar experience with people telling me it was admirable but not for them. People need to be proud that they’re waiting so we can find them easier in searches!

    Make sure to check out the forums for lively discussion and like-minded people!

  4. Allie says:

    I have an OKCupid account, but I only made it for their personality quizzes.

  5. lo says:

    The truth is OK Cupid is pretty shallow with a lot of woman that are single for a reason. My advice is don’t care, just have fun with it. But its like approaching a hot woman. These woman have alot of men just messaging them the same stuff over and over again especially the hot ones. So unless you are funny, get lucky, or very attractive or 6’2+ you won’t get much results from attractive women.

    There was a funny story I read of a guy who went on there and messaged people for a long period and got no replies. Then he developed a completely different profile with a picture of a model saying he was 6 foot 4. He got messaged by dozens of people in a short period of time. He then went back on there and updated the profile to say that the model cheated on his exgirlfriends and had a kid he neglected. Woman still contacted him. Not all women are great people but then again not all women on ok cupid are bad people.

  6. Leo says:

    Ha that story is disturbing! I can’t believe he wrote that he cheated on his exes, and neglected his kid, and women still contacted him! I guess that does go to show that okcupid is just as bad as any other dating site. You’re right about not all women being bad people on the site but the good ones are so hard to find! I guess your initial advice will have to do until dating sites are perfected. Thanks for the comment! Check us out on the forums, we have a solid little community on there that’s always looking forward to new members!

  7. Liz says:

    At first I thougt the site was really great, as I progressed I noticed it caters to men (women are supposed to make initial contact). This to me is not impressive as I am a senior and although I did make several attempts, I found that the majority of men on the site were NOT marriage minded. The LTR relationships give them selves away (at least they are honest) when answering some of the questions, when a man says he seeks a LTR, he is telling you he wants someone but does not want to commit. This is fine if your a female looking for the same type of situation. If your a female looking for a potential marriage relationship, lots of luck with that. In my opinion a waste of time.

    It is interesting site but very time consuming with Q&A which supposedly is how they get a percentage of a rating for you and the other person. In my opinion the majority of guys on the site should also invest in a razor. Some more so a lawn mower. Yet they do expect woment to shave their legs. Give me a break, I don’t go for facials to have my face torn up by barb wire beards, thanks I will pass. It is more of a site to get a few laughs from responses than any real dating unless you want to lower your standards. On the positive the site itself is well presented and easy to use, too bad there are really not many marriage potential men on it.

  8. anon says:

    VERY insightful Liz, and i laughed at your beard comment – i always wonder about guys with hair issues – this is a great site by the way

  9. frank says:

    Well I do not know how yall do it, but since I have created my account there, no one have ever contacted me which is weird…I have people only visiting..

  10. Jai says:

    Ok so let me first say, that I agree with the review of ok Cupid. It is not a site to be taken seriously for dating, but it’s great to meet friends with common interest or views. It doesn’t get intimate with questions and is pretty gritty. The same way you would act with your fiends haha. But I must also admit, I inynhad my ok Cupid account for about two weeks. I made two UHMAZING friends while I was there. And also ended up marrying my husband after meeting on that site. Yep. I
    Married someone I met on OKCupid.

    But know this, by okcupids statistics, we were enemies. Basically he was new to town (it’s kinda desolate) and hadn’t
    Met many new people because of his job, and me being (at the time) in roller derby, he inquired about where and when, since he wanted to watch bouts. We emailed like 2 times and I already disliked the guy. I ignored him. Then advised I was deleting my account, and he emailed me his number stating he really wanted to find new stuff to do in our area. Welp after about three Months texting and chatting we met. I hated him again. But he totally savedme one day and we spent an entire month together. He was the most amazing man ever. We’ve been together very day since. And got married in July. I’ve never been happier with anyone in my entire life. And although we met online, okcupid voted against us. So basically I never would have met my husband had I not been online, but also had i heeded the okcupid statistics of only 32 percent compatibility, I’d never have met my mister. It was spot on, and I mean SPOT ON for friends, but couldn’t have been more incorrect for marriage (in my case) and he is totally so much like myself, I don’t understand how he wasn’t at least listed as my friend.

    Needless to say, I’m gracious for the site, but it still just boils down to chance.

  11. Google@MissChristiLuv says:

    lol OKCupid is fun to make new friends but Ive never made a real romantic relationship from it lol. Feel free to friend me there if you’d like tho haha ^_^ Im @ http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TheChristiLuv – See ya! :)

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