Episode 4: AcceptanceDecember 8th, 2013 by Selina
I never thought I’d be someone who would care about acceptance. I’m known as a pretty headstrong, confident person. For God’s sake – I tutor kids and mentor them to believe in their own beliefs, and not worry if they don’t fit the norm.
But then why am I here? I’m here because the biggest reason why I reached out, wasn’t because waiting until marriage was impossible physically. Most of us joined this site because of our silent worries of what society, or the people close to us would think – if they knew the truth… if they knew we were going to wait, until 25, 27, 30, 32 if necessary. Would they think we were strange, weird… abnormal?
Personally, I didn’t care about society’s acceptance… but I did worry that the person who I’d be with in the future, wouldn’t accept me. And that’s why I was a 25 year old who hadn’t dated for two years. I told everyone it was because I had different priorities, because I was career minded – and that’s totally true. But the biggest secret reason why I turned guys down, was that, I wasn’t sure any guy would be able to accept me for my beliefs. And societal acceptance may not have mattered as much…. but acceptance from the guy who I could potentially fall in love with, really mattered. So why fall in love in the first place?
What happened to me, is a classic example of what happens to people when they don’t interact with enough people about their true beliefs. I thought I was different… that nobody else thought the way I did. I was proud of my beliefs, but I thought that they would effectively put a hold on my dating life. And I didn’t mind… that much. I had forgotten the dream that I would find someone, so I was getting used to thinking that I’d spend my life alone.
Until I found someone even more innocent than I am.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls – I’m in a relationship. I have a boyfriend who is even more passionate about waiting for marriage than I am. It’s strange to be the more ‘experienced’ one, but I feel so happy that I can open up about the things that I’m really passionate about – and not worry that I won’t be accepted. In fact, the weirdest thing is, that all of those qualities that I thought would make me into a ‘bad’ girlfriend… waiting until marriage, wanting to dedicate my life to helping global society, wanting to continue studying and learning for the rest of my life, wanting to really dedicate myself to my faith… are things that he really appreciates and values about me.
What was I thinking? How could I have been so cynical?
The thing is, because virginity is seen as such a taboo topic in Western culture, anyone who really does want to wait until marriage never advertises their beliefs. As a result, we all feel ‘lonely’ and different, and we all feel like nobody will really understand what we’re going through. Oh, there will be people who won’t understand you at all. But this website, and my own life… proves that there are actually some people who think the same way as we do, and we really don’t need to worry about not being accepted by loved ones. This site proves that we can find people who do identify with us about our most secret topics… if we only take that risk to reach out to them.
So to all of you WTMers out there, please continue to live your own life of happiness. And whether you are single and not looking, or single and looking, know that there are other people, potential friends, who would believe in you, and who would value you….. if you just let them get to know you.