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Lecture: How Waiting Creates Healthier Attitudes about Sex in Marriage

May 19th, 2011 by YouTube Preview Image

Just a heads up to anyone who isn’t particularly religious: This lecture is set in a church, but his main arguments are based on psychology and his own experiences (not on spirituality). Otherwise, this is a great lecture with arguments for waiting till marriage that I genuinely haven’t heard before. Big thanks to Sarah Elizabeth in the forums for finding this!

Author: Mike

Mike handles all of the programming and design work for Although he still writes the occasional article, he spends most of his time these days creating new site features and keeping everything organized. Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist. In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.

4 Responses to “Lecture: How Waiting Creates Healthier Attitudes about Sex in Marriage”

  1. Ben Smith says:

    I want to know where he got his psychological data from. I have only had sex in committed relationships so I can’t confirm or deny what he says in the beginning; but experimentation within a relationship is great. Where does the imprinting thing come from though?

  2. Mike says:

    Hi Ben,

    I’m not sure that he’s pulling from data/formal studies. It sounds like just conclusions drawn from his own observations about people he’s spoken too, which doesn’t mean it should be discounted. You can learn a ton just by talking to lots of people about one subject over a long period of time.

    The idea of imprinting is common in psychology, but I’ve never heard it used in the context that the did (sex and relationships). The example I always remember is baby ducks: When baby ducks are born, they imprint on the image of their mother’s specific tail pattern. This memory has to be very exact, because they use it to distinguish their mother from other mommy ducks. The imprinting is so ingrained that you can actually lead a bunch of ducklings around using a photograph of their mother’s butt.

    Like you said though, since you only have sex in committed relationships you probably bypass most of the problems that people harp on when they talk about consequences of not waiting. In terms of attitude towards sex, you’re not that far off from us waiters. 😉

    Anyhow, thanks for the comment!

  3. Bliss says:

    I really liked this video, what he’s saying just confirms what i already believe. Imprinting DOES happen, and he also mentions that not everyone waits until marriage but also draws the weight loss comparison- it might be slightly harder for some of us than others, so, even if you dont wait you can still have a great relationship with a great sex life it just takes slightly more work to keep the important things important

  4. Jay says:

    Invigorating. I’ll be directing all my haters to this video XD

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