Episode 1: Hi. My Name is…May 19th, 2013 by Selina
My virginity is for the most part, a well-kept secret.
I’ve learned that saying certain things about yourself in society is just asking for societal alienation.
So I’m a 25 year old Canadian pharmacist. On a day-to-day basis, I answer customer questions about condom sizes, whether Viagra really works, what to do with missed birth control doses without even blinking. It’s part of the job.
I love my job, and find it cool to look up therapeutic information and learn. I wear makeup to work. I love wearing dresses … nice classy ones, which show that I like myself. I love dancing to Zumba, and letting the week’s stress out. I love to read. I can talk to guys confidently (most of the time!), I love pulling pranks and wearing my big grin, I wear my heart on my sleeve …. and I’ve fallen in love three times.
I think I’m attractive, when I put in the effort. I will go to bars, and drink my Coca Cola and cheer on my ice hockey team. I’ll go dancing in the rain, singing songs at the top of my lungs. On the whole… I think I’m a person who thinks of life as a blessing.
I’m a Muslim as well, but I interpret the Qu’ran to mean that the ‘veil’ mentioned was actually a metaphorical one, and I believe in modesty instead for myself. However, I’m friends with everyone from the most conservative, to the most liberal.
I am a huge champion of pluralism, and I respect everyone, regardless of whether they are athiests or Christians, or Muslims, or Hindus or… well pretty much anything. I’ve told my friends to do what makes them happy, and what makes their conscience clear, regardless of what it is.
I like to practice my religion privately, so I do choose and stubbornly practice the lifestyle that I want, but I rarely go around talking about God in public. I think it makes people around me uncomfortable, and I would rather concentrate on talking about what me and somebody else has in common.
And that is maybe why I rarely, rarely tell anyone that I’m virgin.
Deep down, I think its something I’m proud of. It makes me feel like I haven’t given in to the guys who I’ve dated. It makes me feel closer to my God. It makes me feel closer to my parents. It makes me feel good and happy inside. It makes me feel like when I sit in my place of worship, I don’t feel sad, or guilty, or that I’m living a double life.
But you know what?
Sometimes, its really really hard.
Especially when your coworker, or even friend at your place of worship, winks at you about something they’ve done, and expects you to totally laugh, because they expect you to have done it as well. And you do laugh.. because you don’t want it to be awkward.
Especially when you go out on dates, and one day, you get labelled as a ‘fundamentalist’, because you want to save certain things for marriage. Or when family or friends tell you that you’re getting older… and that you’ve become too ‘black and white’ about this matter, because you refuse to date someone who doesn’t accept you for your values. Because the biological clock has just started ticking… you’re not in highschool or even university anymore… and who wants to date a 25 year old virgin waiting for marriage?
Or when you know, that there are sometimes a few highschool virgins… but nobody over the age of 21 that you know, is actually not having sex. And you know a lot of people.
Its times like that no matter how successful you are in life, no matter how close you are with your parents, and no matter how confident you are … you feel like you’re the only person in the world who’s reached the age of 25 and who still has a certain belief … and you feel something called loneliness with a capital L.
Maybe that’s why this website matters. It reminds us that we are not alone.
It teaches us that our thoughts aren’t as rare as we thought, even amongst our own age group. And it confirms our belief that waiting, although not a lifestyle necessary for everyone, is an option that is a viable one … an option that takes exceptional value and courage.
So here’s to all the virgins who have had opportunities, but are still stubbornly insisting on WTM. And here’s to the celibate/reclaimed virgins who really do know what they are missing, but still want to WTM.
I admire you.