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Rebecca St. James Waited Until Age 33

January 1st, 2012 by

I want to hold out for a great love. I want to go to my wedding night knowing that he’s the only man that I’ve every been with.

Rebecca St. James is one of the most powerful and beloved figures in Christian music, and is well known for her  decision to wait until marriage for sex. She’s written books about waiting, hit songs about waiting, and even a book about married life after waiting.

With a career that started when she was only 13 years old, she’s been belting out mega-hit songs and inspiring young people for over twenty years. Few people are this consistently talented and admirable over such a long period; she’s a star by any measure.

Mini Biography

July 26, 1977 to father David (a concert promoter) and mother Helen. Her birth name is Rebecca Jean Smallbone.

Age 8: While attending a children’s church group meeting in Australia, she makes a conscious decision to give her heart to God, a moment that she will remember clearly for the rest of her life as “the best decision I ever made.”

Age 9-11: Attends Pacific Hills Christian School in Australia.

Age 12: Writes her first song while still in the eighth grade. Her father, well equipped as a concert promoter to showcase her talent, gets her a gig as the opening act for contemporary Christian music artist Carmen.

Age 13: Releases independent album Refresh My Heart in Australia under the stage name “Rebecca Jean.” Soon after, her father receives a job offer in the US and moves her family to the United States.

Age 15: Signs a contract with with ForeFront Records, who wants her to adopt a stage name. The suggest “Rebecca St. John” but she doesn’t like it (because she has a relative named John). She likes the idea of “St. James,” since James was the name of her grandfather who recently passed away. She calls her grandmother and asks for advice on stage names. Her grandmother immediately suggests “James,” confirming Rebecca’s impulse.

Age 16: Releases her first major label album, the self-titled Rebecca St. James.

Age 17: Releases a secondary EP titled Extended Play Remixes

Age 18: Releases second major album (God). Unlike her previous albums, this one focuses more on rock. Critics like it, and it peaks at #168 on the Billboard 200 and #6 on Billboard’s Contemporary Christian chart.

Age 19: Nominated for Grammy for Best Rock Gospel Album. To promote her new album, she releases a devotional book called 40 Days with God: A Devotional Journey. Her album God will go on to sell 500,000 copies.

Age 20: Releases a holiday album called Christmas which hits #14 on Billboard’s Contemporary Christian chart.

Age 21: Releases third studio album, Pray. Album hits #168 on teh Billboard 200 and #5 on the Contemporary Christian Chart.

Age 22: Pray wins the Grammy for Best Rock/Gospel Album (the album will eventually sell over 500k copies). Releases song titled “Yes, I believe in God” in memory of the Columbine shooting.

Age 23: Releases fourth album Transform, which hits #14 on the Contemporary Christian Chart. Includes the hits Wait for Me and Reborn. Makes a cameo in Left Behind: the Movie. Re-releases her original devotional book with new layout and five new devotions.

Age 24: Releases new album Worship God to rave reviews. It hits #94 on the overall Billboard 200 (her highest rank yet). Also records a DVD full of interviews that she includes with the album.

Age 25: Writes a book called Wait for Me: Rediscovering the Joy of Purity in Romance, which promotes waiting until marriage for sex, cementing her as a key spokesperson for abstinence. Her book goes on to sell 100,000 copies and spawn a journal and study guide. Releases her first compilation project titled Wait For Me: the Best From Rebecca St. James. includes two new songs including “I Thank You” which peaks at #2 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs chart, but fails to make the overall Billboard 200.

Age 27: Releases her first live album, Live Worship: Blessed Be Your Name which features 7 new songs and 2 studio recorded songs. Writes and releases new book, SHE: Safe, Healthy, Empowered: The Woman You’re Made to Be. Stars in the stage musical Hero! as a modern-day Mary Magdalene. Also participates in the pop/prock VeggieTales album (by covering the VeggiTales Theme Song).

Age 28: After a break from recording music, returns to studio to record new album If I Had One Chance to Tell You Something. New single “Alive” hits #3 on the Christian Billboard Chart. Goes on Tour with fellow Christian superstars BarlowGirl.  Also records the official theme song for the National Day of Prayer. Her longtime label ForeFront Records releases album titled The Early Years that covered ten songs from her early releases. Makes her major film role debut as Colleen in Unidentified.

Age 29: Takes a musical hiatus, while her record company releases lots of successful remixes and compilations.

Age 31: Releases a new devotional book, Pure: A 90-Day Devotional for the Mind, Body, & Spirit.

Age 32: Stars in the film Sarah’s Choice, which was praised by Christian movie critics. Releases a new song titled You’re Alive and a new book, Loved: Stories of Forgiveness. Also wraps up filming on a new movie titled Rising Stars.

Age 33: Boyfriend Jacob Fink proposes on Christmas Day 2010 at her family farm. Parts ways with ForeFront records and releases a ninth album I Will Praise You. She and Jacob Fink are married at the Juniperro Serra museum in San Diego, California just 3 months before her 34th birthday. While he personal life is soaring to new heights, she also stars in two movies: The Frontier Boys and Suing the Devil.

Age 34: Writes and releases new book, “What Is He Thinking?” that is declared a “must-read for every girl who is wondering where all the good guys have gone” by radio host Sean Hannity.

Video: Rebecca St. James explains why she waits

Note: She’s about 31 years old in this video, a year or so before she meets, falls in love with, and marries Jacob Fink.

YouTube Preview Image


59 Responses to “Rebecca St. James Waited Until Age 33”

  1. Sally says:

    Nice job Mike!!! Would you mind if I send you another celebrity who is Christian for our page? Thanks!

  2. ThatGuy says:

    Awesome job, Mike!! A wonderful addition to the celebs page!

  3. KS says:

    Wow, those sound like the only two believers in Christ out there who are virgins.

    Wonder what the rest of the liars and hypocrites preach about.

    Hot air, I guess.

    Hope Hell is ‘warm.’


  4. Mike says:

    @KS – How are you that bitter this early in the year? You posted at 9am New Years Day. Was that really your first impulse this morning? THAT was your first act of the new year? To spew anti-Christian venom under the biography of a sweetheart Christian singer? I’m sorry for whatever horrible experience (and people) brought you to this state of mind, but jeez, at least save your trolling until January 2nd.

    @Sally & ThatGuy – Thanks! And Sally of course you can send me more Christian celebrities!

  5. KS says:

    I had no intentions of trolling.

    And I am starting to be skeptical as to how much of a virgin her husband was when they married (I doubt he was, at all which for me defeats the entire purpose of giving myself to someone else).

  6. Mike says:

    @KS – What makes you doubt he was a virgin? Did you read something to the contrary?

    Also, virgin bitterness I at least understand. Are you having one of those “I’m never going to find another virgin/nobody waits anymore.” crises?

  7. KS says:

    No to the last question.

    Doubt because if he were, she would have mentioned it to get more status. Who wouldn’t?

  8. Dave says:

    Kudos to RSJ for not only choosing that path, but being vocal about it.

    KS, I’m confused by your comments. What is the root of your bitterness? Are you a Christian virgin disillusioned by the world and the lack of believers who are waiting?

  9. KS says:


    Send the hypocrites to the lions!

  10. Happywife says:

    @ KS just because you might end up married to someone who would have given up his virginity and made some bad choices, doesn’t excuse you to go ‘oh well, I might as well sully myself!’ I was a virgin at 23 and my husband had lost his virginity when he was a teen. Because he got saved and God helped him wait for me, our marriage was built on mutual love and respect. We kept each other’s purity a priority. I will forever respect him for that. I would encourage you to wait and see God’s blessing in due time. Hebrews 13v4. God bless you!

  11. cv says:

    @KS there are a lot of people that are still waiting! I am and I am almost34 and I know several other friends that are waiting too. plus people are waiting for other reasons than their faith and beliefs.

  12. Tia says:

    I am so excited to hear the RSJ waited until marriage (and that she didn’t get married at 18)! I remember back when I was a teenager, I was really into the purity rings and vow cards (we would fill them out at concerts – anyone remember that?) and her music and books like “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” really kept me feeling good about waiting. Then I found out that all of these “waiters” (I love that term!) were getting married at 20 and 21 – just really young. So, over the past 5 years (I’m 25), I’ve really been thinking ‘Is this gonna work? Whenever this guy comes along is HE really going to want to wait? At this age?’ But I’m still waiting and I’m cool with that. Mind you – I have never dated anyone either, so I’m not really sure what’s out there, but I am thankful to know that there’s a guy (and from the looks of this website – quite a few) who is also waiting. And these guys are not all 21!

    I like how she put it: This is not about restrictions, it’s about just doing things God’s way [and being able to appreciate that]! That’s the way I’ve been looking at it – not so much “I can’t have sex until marriage” but more of a “I’m just doing the right thing.” I think that makes waiting easier. Besides, once it’s done, it’s done, so why waste it on some random guy who has made no commitment to me? Why would I give him the one thing I’ve got that I can never get back (I guess other than time and maybe a few other things)? I’d want to be able to have something with my husband that no other guy out there can say they’ve had with me (other than the same address) and I’d also hope the same on his end, but I can’t control other people’s lives or choices, especially before we’re married. Either way – having people like RSJ actually waiting and then not being fresh out of the parents’ house when she did get married is awesome. Gives me hope! 🙂

  13. Rusty says:

    hate to break this to you but read this, it appears to be Rebecca:

  14. Rusty says:

    if you read her other answers, she said she lost her virginity at age 25 and has had 5 sexual partners in her lifetime

  15. Mike says:

    @Rusty – Forgive me if I don’t take an obscure, Yahoo-answers-style forum post from a person using RSJ’s album art as their avatar as a primary source.

    Still, I appreciate the comment. If you do find serious contradictory evidence regarding RSJ or any other celebrity listed here, please post it!

  16. noelle says:

    did he wait?

  17. xbf says:

    Well, “Rebecca” has a profile at Yahoo Answers too and it is consistent with the Answerbag profile. Is it really her?

  18. Mike says:

    @xbf – I appreciate your diligence, but still, look at the arguments those Yahoo posts keep using: She’s old, she had lots of opportunity, and she’s been linked with some guys who definitely were NOT virgins.

    These are not people with inside information making these posts. They’re non-waiters speculating through the lens of their own biases.

    You could say the same thing about me: I’m 29, I’ve had lots of opportunity, and I’ve been linked with some girls who were very far from waiters. Looking at me from the outside, I could understand people having serious doubts about my waiter status, but they’d be wrong.

    If you look at some of our other celebrity articles, people make these same arguments. They’ll say “No way Adriana Lima waited; she dated Lenny Kravitz” and things like that. Still just speculation.

    One of the greatest misconceptions about waiting till marriage is that it is difficult. From a non-waiter’s perspective, waiting seems almost impossible, but that’s very far from the case. For the type of person who actually chooses to wait, it’s much easier than you’d think. Waiting isn’t difficult; it’s just rare.

    The other big misconception is that it’s impossible for a promiscuous person to date a virgin without the virgin giving in and having sex. As somebody who’s had 6+ long term relationships with non-waiters, I can tell you that it’s very possible when the non-waiter cares enough for the waiter.

    Also, as for that being actually RSJ’s account on Yahoo answers, I very highly doubt it. She most likely has a person or a team of people handling social media for her. I’ve worked with a lot of Social Media professionals, and I’ve never seen anybody prioritize Yahoo Answers as part of their social media strategy. That’s not really a thing.

    However, I HAVE seen ton of deliberately-fake Yahoo Answers posts. That’s a pretty regular occurrence.

    To me, the observation that the Yahoo Answers profile matches the Answerbag profile means that it’s the same troll.

  19. xbf says:

    There is also a long discussion thread about Rebecca on Topix:

  20. Haven says:

    Now, I could see her slipping up and having a weak moment. We’re all human and we all have moments of weakness. She has said that touring was lonely and the waiting was difficult, that everyone (including her)has missed the mark of purity. She has talked about secondary or reconstituted virginity and how there is forgiveness if you have slipped.

    I’m sure touring offered her plenty of opportunities, if she wanted to accept them. Did she? None of us really knows. But I could see how it could happen.

  21. JB says:

    Mike, you wrote:

    “Also, as for that being actually RSJ’s account on Yahoo answers, I very highly doubt it. She most likely has a person or a team of people handling social media for her. I’ve worked with a lot of Social Media professionals, and I’ve never seen anybody prioritize Yahoo Answers as part of their social media strategy. That’s not really a thing.”

    Now, it seems to me that if that’s so, this might be exactly the reason to go there if you wanted to get something off your chest anonymously. As Rusty said, it does appear to be Rebecca.

  22. Dog says:

    “One of the greatest misconceptions about waiting till marriage is that it is difficult.”

    Rebecca has talked about the difficulty of it. Lolo Jones has talked about the difficulty of it. I suspect that it’s different for celebrities. For some reason, many people want to sleep with celebrities and some are aggressive. They have a lot more opportunity than you and I do and I’m sure it’s harder for them, especially given that they’re away from home a lot.

  23. jim says:

    Person waits and dies waiting. For some there’s always some reason or another things don’t work out. Rebecca rubbs harsh in the face of this fact of reality for some of the bitter lonely. As for her advice, she is merely passing along info from the Bible so it is not her own. So blame it all on God if you die alone.

    One size does not fit all. Is she aware of this affect she has on tired beat down hopeless who have prayed, trusted, waited perhaps till the bitter end still alone? According to one of her books, yes. And she continues to remind how it all worked out for her. This hurts some. Makes it worse. Rubbs it in their face. Much money. Money more important. It hurts is my point. She continues on anyway. Hurting others. God is hurting them through her I mean.

  24. Mr. X says:

    Especially if what’s posted above has any truth to it.

  25. Cubs says:

    The whole purity/waiting thing is business.

  26. A Certain Guy says:

    Well, if her page at is to be believed, Rebecca has been a bit friskier than we thought.

  27. Mike says:

    @A Certain Guy – You mean this? “Rebecca St. James had an affair with Julian Bailey when Rebecca St. James was married to James Haven. Rebecca St. James is currently married to Cubbie Fink.”

    That would be pretty damning, except that Rebecca St. James was never married to James Haven. FamousHookups is a semi-automated rumor site. It compiles random rumors from around the web, from what I can tell, which makes it a pretty neat system (technically), but slightly less reliable than some random forum post (at least in a random forum post you can read follow-up posts that debunk the original).

  28. Random Guy says:

    Well, it looks like Famous Hookups messed that one up, as thei rmain page for Rebecca only says that she and Haven dated.

  29. Random Guy says:

    “James Haven dated Rebecca St. James in the past, but they broke up in 2008.”

  30. Hanky says:

    What do you make of this?

    “I slept with her years ago, several times. She’s very good.”

    Well, at lest he didn’t claim she stunk. 🙂

  31. Cassandra says:

    You guys should check out Angelique’s blog “PurityPalace” she’s a teenager promoting purity and there’s not many teenagers doing that!!

    Here’s the link:

  32. Jonas says:

    I can assure you all that these are fake profiles created by a sick and pathetic person. Rebecca is the same person behind the scenes as she is on the stage. Some guy got his feelings hurt because Rebecca wouldn’t go out with him and decided to do everything he could to harm her images. Unfortunately, it looks like his attempt was somewhat successful.

  33. Jimmy says:

    Jonas, I know a guy who says he slept with her. He says she was a real dynamo. It looks like she’s had a few men in her time.

  34. Just Another Poster says:

    The whole purity bit was always about her career. She’s very different offstage than onstage.

  35. Luke Goss says:

    Praise God, so happy to hear Rebecca’s testimony of her being a virgin til marriage, so awesome

  36. bobby Higgins Jr. says:

    I may have walked out on Rebecca years ago at kingdom bound 1994? I think. but I’m certain she’s still a virgin. I also know she’s still fallen in love with her first crush she never met. listen to you are loved. it’s all about her and I. she calls me Daniel because I interpret too many stories.

  37. bobby Higgins Jr. says:

    oh and by the way her last name isn’t fink. according to God read about Abraham and Sarah. God doesn’t break covenant and Mr fink looks like Hagar and Boaz.

  38. bobby Higgins Jr. says:

    oh and by the way Rebecca I was sitting in the audience when you called me a jerk. thanks for meeting me at the autograph booth. sorry if I called your song strange and weird. you’re still cute.

  39. 1 life says:

    When u know ur God u will know ur destiny and where he is taking u. being without God is like walking blindly in broad day light. tat is why poeple will say all sorts of things to try and figure out why we are living this way and they will never be satisfied becos to tem our life is a mystery. for the world will never understand the things of God.
    Congratulations Rebecca, u inspire me. kip on doing what u are doing..
    Be Blessed!!

  40. reallyppl? says:

    John 8:7b (KJV) “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

    Take responsibility for your own actions before you judge someone else for what they have done (or were suppose to have done–because none of you really know for sure so you gossip about it).

    The women Jesus was talking about was supposedly taken in “the act”. And Jesus, being the sinless Son of God, forgave her. Why don’t we do the same (supposing the gossip you spread about RSJ’s immoral lifestyle is true)?

  41. Biography says:

    For the bio:

    Age 36 — Gives birth to her first child (due early in 2014)

  42. Libby S says:

    She didn’t wait.

  43. Robert F. Christ says:

    And what’s your point? Maybe she was head over heels over someone in her late teens and he didn’t know?

    Listen, I was head over heels over someone during my childhood and they dated someone else before I could ask her out and I dunno?.. It happens when you’re a “single4life” loner. And that’s who I’ve been for 33 years since 1980. Sure I stick my “awsome and amazing dancing banana manhood” in the toaster oven whistling and singing breakfast by newsboys, but seriously? Reality check is that I just don’t give a damn which jerk calls me something more detailed than a “momma’s boy” by saying something funky about their daddy.

    I have been called: “The Crap Bastard Bandicoot (Oinker Boinker Pig-Rat)”, “ASShat and SPANK”, “My Pet Fuhkster”, “G.I. HOE”, “God Of Whores”, “Thunder Crap”, “MegaFagatron”, “Harry Pecker and The Harlot’s Condom”, “ASSLand”, and my favorite “The Nigganator”. And none of these retarded slurs fit me like a dress for the prom I stayed home on.

    Just because you didn’t wait doesn’t mean you dated and just because you didn’t date doesn’t mean you waited either. Because dating isn’t waiting and waiting isn’t dating. So who cares? God had His covenant of marriage with Sarah The Drunken Pimp and A-BRA-HAM, not half truth Ruthless and Boas “Mohamstermad”. Obedience is better than sacrifice. But what happens when they go hand in hand?

  44. Christi Luv says:

    I LOVE IT LOL!!! AWESOME!! <3 <3 <3

  45. […] Rebecca St. James Waited Until Age 33 […]

  46. Jimmy says:

    I can tell you, she didn’t wait.

  47. […] Rebecca St. James Waited Until Age 33 […]

  48. Helen says:

    Looks like we have loads of Trolls on this site. The thing with Trolls is that they think it all a joke and don’t care that there are some naive people that will just believe what they write. Mike, keep deligently moderating. Good for Rebecca for waiting. I wish her the best happiness in her marriage!

  49. Sister Libby says:

    She didn’t wait.

  50. Sister Libby says:

    She lost it long before the wedding.

  51. Haven says:

    She was no virgin bride.

  52. Little Sis Libby says:

    She didn’t wait. She lost it a long time before she married.

    None of us waited.

  53. Cubbie says:

    She told me she wasn’t a virgin, but it’s OK because nether was I.

  54. A Friend says:

    She played the virgin well in public, but it was public relations. She told me she’s been with a few different guys. She didn’t seem ashamed of it or anything. She seemed more than comfortable with her choices.

  55. 4 King and Country says:

    Rebeca was sexually active with boyfriends several years before she got married. Jacob knows it.

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