Sex Is No Sport: The Hypocrisies of Hookup Culture
June 24th, 2012 by Olivier
Imagine a stadium where the capacity crowd eagerly awaits for the athletes to emerge onto the court. A male athlete emerges and the audience cheers. On the opposite end of the court, a female athlete emerges, propelling the audience into an even greater frenzy.
Both the male and female are naked.
The male and female “athletes” run into each other’s arms and engage in the most intimate act that two humans can engage in: sex. The judges award points for creativity, flexibility, and of course, longevity.
Obviously, a majority would scoff at this scenario; surely, sex is no sport. But if sex isn’t a sport, then why do a decent amount of men and women treat it as such? Would these same men and women be taken aback by the aforementioned scenario? There may be hypocrisy here, but we’ll address this later.
Some may attribute it to God, and others to nature, but there is an inherent order or routine present in today’s world. This order or routine can be viewed from a scientific perspective, whether it be the body parts that function within the body’s different sub-systems, or the activity between plants, animals, and humans that sustain the variety of biological communities.
More importantly, this “order” also exists within the sociological realm. Take, for example, the fact that children have the greatest chance for academic success and emotional health when they are placed within a framework where both parents are available.
Plants, animals, humans, biological activities… everything belongs to a “framework.”
The framework for sex has changed dramatically throughout recent decades. But are “casual” sex and hookup culture the appropriate frameworks that nature intended? Examining the outcomes reveals the answer.
Sure, there are the common – yet relevant – consequences of STD’s, “super” STD’s and children without both a mother and father. But there’s another equally destructive, yet underrated, consequence: emotional and moral implications.
We are left with men who don’t view women as equals but as objects designed for men’s sexual release. We create women who are incapable of trusting men and feel guilty about desiring emotional commitment.
By putting sex within the framework of a hookup culture, we foster a people oblivious to chivalry. These are people who harbor great potential for emotional prudery and sexual baggage. We are left with men who don’t view women as equals but as objects designed for men’s sexual release. We create women who are incapable of trusting men and feel guilty about desiring emotional commitment.
And yet people scratch their heads at the troubling divorce rates, or at why there is such skepticism and pessimism towards marriage.
Is there somewhat of a hypocrisy here? Society condemns these disrespectful men and will tell women that commitment can be theirs should they desire it, but isn’t it the pervasive sexual relativism, or politically correct views towards sex that contribute to the development of these men and women?
The hypocrisy extends towards fidelity as well:
Scholars without overt political/religious agendas (Laumann, McCarthy) suggest that habits formed within premarital relationships and hookup culture contribute to the infidelity epidemic.
A vast majority believes cheating on one’s spouse is always wrong, yet an estimated 30-60% of married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point within their lifetime. Scholars without overt political/religious agendas (Laumann, McCarthy) suggest that habits formed within premarital relationships and hookup culture contribute to the infidelity epidemic. It appears that with society’s effort to have its cake and eat it too, there’s nothing left to celebrate.
Those who subscribe to the hookup culture or “casual” sex should not be judged. Nor is it likely that abstinence will ever again become the norm. However, it is important to acknowledge that sex has a proper place. As mundane as it sounds, frameworks provide structure and preservation. Sex, the most intimate act two human beings can share, belongs within an unhypocritical framework, a framework that provides the greatest assurance of protection for people’s bodies and hearts, the framework that nature intended: marriage.
References
Facts and Statistics About Infidelity
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html
Sexual Infidelity Among Married And Cohabitation Americans
http://vivanautics.com/pdf/TreasGiesen2000.pdf
The Young And The Restless: Why Infidelity Is Rising Among 20-Somethings
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122782458360062499.html
Author: Olivier
Olivier writes many of the site's articles, some articles requiring many hours of research; he also helps with site strategy/focus. He has a Bachelors in Accounting, Masters in Theology, and is currently an accounting manager for a teleconferencing solutions company. In his spare time he enjoys reading, writing, NFL, and movies.
Thanks O! Just wondering if you’ve found any more psychology research about this ?
Hey Sally,
It’s more of an opinion. But you just gave me the idea to do a psychological piece. I’ll try to see what I can find. Also, if you have anything please send me!
Oh-I just saw that in the top corner
I will !
I just want to say that you summed up everything I had thought about (and planned to put into my blog). Coming from a female who once belonged to that culture, it has taken almost a year to clear out a lot of the baggage that I acquired. I am still working on some of it. I agree whole-heartedly that our culture creates men who objectify women and women who don’t trust men. To add too that, I think that women also run toward the objectivity because it is almost expected. Its almost how we get love.
Thanks for the feedback, Alisha. It takes a lot of courage to be open about your experiences. Thanks for the extra insight too. My best wishes for you in the healing process.