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Sex Is No Sport: The Hypocrisies of Hookup Culture

June 24th, 2012 by

Imagine a stadium where the capacity crowd eagerly awaits for the athletes to emerge onto the court. A male athlete emerges and the audience cheers. On the opposite end of the court, a female athlete emerges, propelling the audience into an even greater frenzy.

Both the male and female are naked.

The male and female “athletes” run into each other’s arms and engage in the most intimate act that two humans can engage in: sex. The judges award points for creativity, flexibility, and of course, longevity.

Obviously, a majority would scoff at this scenario; surely, sex is no sport. But if sex isn’t a sport, then why do a decent amount of men and women treat it as such? Would these same men and women be taken aback by the aforementioned scenario? There may be hypocrisy here, but we’ll address this later.

Some may attribute it to God, and others to nature, but there is an inherent order or routine present in today’s world. This order or routine can be viewed from a scientific perspective, whether it be the body parts that function within the body’s different sub-systems, or the activity between plants, animals, and humans that sustain the variety of biological communities.

More importantly, this “order” also exists within the sociological realm. Take, for example, the fact that children have the greatest chance for academic success and emotional health when they are placed within a framework where both parents are available.

Plants, animals, humans, biological activities… everything belongs to a “framework.”

The framework for sex has changed dramatically throughout recent decades. But are “casual” sex and hookup culture the appropriate frameworks that nature intended? Examining the outcomes reveals the answer.

Sure, there are the common – yet relevant – consequences of STD’s, “super” STD’s and children without both a mother and father. But there’s another equally destructive, yet underrated, consequence: emotional and moral implications.

We are left with men who don’t view women as equals but as objects designed for men’s sexual release. We create women who are incapable of trusting men and feel guilty about desiring emotional commitment.

By putting sex within the framework of a hookup culture, we foster a people oblivious to chivalry. These are people who harbor great potential for emotional prudery and sexual baggage. We are left with men who don’t view women as equals but as objects designed for men’s sexual release. We create women who are incapable of trusting men and feel guilty about desiring emotional commitment.

And yet people scratch their heads at the troubling divorce rates, or at why there is such skepticism and pessimism towards marriage.

Is there somewhat of a hypocrisy here? Society condemns these disrespectful men and will tell women that commitment can be theirs should they desire it, but isn’t it the pervasive sexual relativism, or politically correct views towards sex that contribute to the development of these men and women?

The hypocrisy extends towards fidelity as well:

Scholars without overt political/religious agendas (Laumann, McCarthy) suggest that habits formed within premarital relationships and hookup culture contribute to the infidelity epidemic.

A vast majority believes cheating on one’s spouse is always wrong, yet an estimated 30-60% of married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point within their lifetime. Scholars without overt political/religious agendas (Laumann, McCarthy) suggest that habits formed within premarital relationships and hookup culture contribute to the infidelity epidemic. It appears that with society’s effort to have its cake and eat it too, there’s nothing left to celebrate.

Those who subscribe to the hookup culture or “casual” sex should not be judged. Nor is it likely that abstinence will ever again become the norm. However, it is important to acknowledge that sex has a proper place. As mundane as it sounds, frameworks provide structure and preservation. Sex, the most intimate act two human beings can share, belongs within an unhypocritical framework, a framework that provides the greatest assurance of protection for people’s bodies and hearts, the framework that nature intended: marriage.


Facts and Statistics About Infidelity

Sexual Infidelity Among Married And Cohabitation Americans

The Young And The Restless: Why Infidelity Is Rising Among 20-Somethings

Author: Olivier

Olivier writes many of the site's articles, some articles requiring many hours of research; he also helps with site strategy/focus. He has a Bachelors in Accounting, Masters in Theology, and is currently an accounting manager for a teleconferencing solutions company. In his spare time he enjoys reading, writing, NFL, and movies.

9 Responses to “Sex Is No Sport: The Hypocrisies of Hookup Culture”

  1. Sally says:

    Thanks O! Just wondering if you’ve found any more psychology research about this ?

  2. Olivier says:

    Hey Sally,

    It’s more of an opinion. But you just gave me the idea to do a psychological piece. I’ll try to see what I can find. Also, if you have anything please send me!

  3. Sally says:

    Oh-I just saw that in the top corner 😛 I will !

  4. Alisha says:

    I just want to say that you summed up everything I had thought about (and planned to put into my blog). Coming from a female who once belonged to that culture, it has taken almost a year to clear out a lot of the baggage that I acquired. I am still working on some of it. I agree whole-heartedly that our culture creates men who objectify women and women who don’t trust men. To add too that, I think that women also run toward the objectivity because it is almost expected. Its almost how we get love.

  5. Olivier says:

    Thanks for the feedback, Alisha. It takes a lot of courage to be open about your experiences. Thanks for the extra insight too. My best wishes for you in the healing process.

  6. Sandra says:

    Not waiting till marriage doesn’t mean you take sex like a sport, that’s playing Russian roulette with your genitals, pretty stupid if you ask.

    You don’t need to be married to have sex with the person you love and trust.

  7. Lightpost says:

    I know this is an old post but I am new to this site and just read Olviers comments and article.
    This very much how I feel. But what I cannot understand is the attitude of many women to the guys that are the real keepers. Women do seem to prefer what I crudely call the “hump and dump” men and of course these are exactly the type of guys that mess up your head and cause you years of heartache and grief.
    I remember the second date I went on with my now wife. She had just been dumped two weeks before she was to be married to a guy that wanted her virginity and nothing else. Once he got tired of her he went on to another virgin…he likely did the same to her I don’t know. But I had stopped my car in a a fairly quiet street overlooking the sea front in my home town and we talked for a while to get to know each other…really the car was the only quiet place where we could do that. It was quite romantic. When it was time to take her back to her parents house I noticed she had not put her seatbelt on.

    So, being the chivalrous kind of guy that I am I reached over to put it on for her and she grabbed hold of my arm. She thought I was going after her breasts. It really shook me that she would even think I would do that on just our second date and all I wanted to do was keep her safe.

    But if women want honest guys who will not cheat I just do not see that. It sure seems to me that the actually want the guys who they know will treat them badly.

    I would like some comments from men or women on this.

  8. Lance Leander L. Cembrano says:

    Fornicators must be judged. If not, no positive change will happen. A slap on the wrists of sexually immoral people will not deter more sexual brokenness in the future. Concrete action, cultural rules and expectations, will incur more positive changes.

    Does sexual morality no longer truly matter in this world? “Sure, let people and kids f*ck around. Don’t judge them, even if their actions will only bring more problems to humanity. Yeah, let’s not try to fix things.”

  9. Elliot says:

    They should be judged. We as humans have free wills and make the decision every single day what specific behavior we find acceptable and what we don’t. Casual sex/one night stands is not at all as common as media, music, tv and movies like to make it seem. 20% of college students hook up randomly , majority have 1 romantic partner , while 25% of college students will graduate virgins. If the media was accurate it would show the 1 in 4 students who won’t be engaging in any sex at all and will most likely be more successful in life. Media will also show how 1 in 4 college students have an STD. Hookup culture is extremely overexposed, overhyped and dangerous and should be shamed.
    TV will never tell you married couples have more sex than any single person at a rate of 2 times a week. Never trust the tv painted image, what is up is down to them and what is good will be potrayed as bad and boring. TV stresses the fun and excitement of commitmentless sex with a stranger or girlfriend/boyfriend, never showing the emotional effects it has on the people who want real, everlasting love. Don’t have sex before marriage. SAY no and stand up for yourself, help a friend see the light and never date someone who is not adamant on their values to wait till marriage. You are the boss.

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