The 5 Reactions that Guys Will Have When You Tell Them You’re WaitingApril 5th, 2011 by Anna
You’ve been there before: You meet a guy that you like (or a guy that was persistent), you’re hanging out with him (like on a date), and at some point you feel compelled to bring up the fact that you’re waiting till marriage to have sex. In fact, you want to bring it up because you’re secretly hoping that he’ll be supportive, or worst case at least you want him to know what he’s getting into. In my experience, guys’ reactions all fall within one of these five ranges.
#1. Put off
Then he runs a mile away, cuts off all contact, and avoids you like the plague.
You should realise that he really isn’t worth any of your time if you aren’t worth any of his. You can tell from his reaction that he was much more interested in sex than in any kind of emotional connection. This often represents immaturity (and/or shallowness) on his part. You’re not just a body that can be used for his entertainment and pleasure. Some girls might be OK with that, but not you.
You’re a human being who deserves the time and effort to be spoken to and loved for who you are — he is the one who will be missing out on the opportunity to be with someone a lot more special than most others. Of course, he’ll never know it. He’ll run away and find lots of casual sex partners of varying quality, and then one day, when he’s older, he will start craving emotional connection. But that deeper side of him will be so under-developed that he’ll stumble awkwardly through relationships and marriage. When you meet him again ten years from now, you will be very glad he did you the favour of running away.
You can almost see the rotating cogs in his mind. He is scared of the prospect of being with someone who is going to withhold sex. He’s scared that he will be missing out on something that he’s grown accustomed to, and that the relationship won’t be what he wants it to be.
Often, he will think that he can handle it, and then in a few weeks the realization hits him that this is real and not going to change, and it just can’t work for him. Give him points for trying, but you don’t want to be with someone who isn’t able to connect with you on an emotional level.
Beware of these guys! He can be tricky to deal with and will hide his motives very well. He may manage to lead you on for a very long time and after a while of getting nowhere, this previously confident fellow will suddenly realise that you were serious and in which case he can, therefore, no longer be bothered with the chase.
The first sign to spotting a fake is the fact that he tends to go along with it too much. For instance, he will tell you everything you want to hear, such things as, “I have even considered it myself” and “I think it is a wonderful idea.”
The thing is, it isn’t just an idea that suddenly came to you in a dream. It is a belief and a strong thing you strive to achieve-it is clear from this that he doesn’t truly understand your own motives.
You are who you are and you should be proud of that.
Don’t feel silly for falling for his charm, it happens to the best of us. You have that experience under your belt and now you will find it easier to recognise guys that are leading you on. Learn from it and grow as a person because of it. It is possible that he has hurt you and made you feel worthless-always remember that you are not worthless.
Some people have bad motives and it is possible that when they meet the right person for them they will be totally kicked into touch because that individual will make them understand everything that they have rejected in the past, such as, love, companionship and emotional attachment. You just weren’t meant to be that person. On the other hand, if it isn’t love from the right person that makes him see the error of his ways, then he will get his comeuppance elsewhere…maybe someone will break his heart or he will simply be run over by a car-who knows?
This can probably be the best kind because it means he isn’t fully aware of your beliefs but you can explain it to him and he can understand and will most likely respect you for it. He may even stick around because he only likes you for you and you’re worth more to him than sexual pleasures. He may even be willing to wait with you and for you. The only negative is that because he has never come across this belief, there is a chance he could reject it and if he stays with you there is a possibility that he will want another form of release outside of sex.
It is a great opportunity to explain your values to a guy with an open mind who is more willing to understand something you hold dear to you and who will more than likely appreciate you all the more for it. If he does want something outside of sex, that is always a personal decision so never let yourself feel pressured into it or like he deserves it because he is ‘putting up’ with the no sex till marriage. It is still your body, not their toy.
#5. Respect and Agreement
You’re striking gold when you come across this look! Often the guys who give you this look will really respect your decision, wish they had done it themselves or become more attracted to you because you want to wait.
From my experience, the people who give you this look will turn out to be some of your closest friends or the most wonderful boyfriends/girlfriends.
You are more unique and intriguing to that person and stand out from modern society. It is also a very attractive quality so stand by what you believe in and if that person is truly right for you, then they too will stand right beside you and your beliefs!